I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don’t say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but I never will
Never again
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never
Though I normally would have been thrilled at the prospect of getting drunk at Jake’s house, Friday evening loomed in the future all week long until finally I found myself seated on Hunter’s bed while he and Zac prepared for the evening. I had a water bottle full of fruit punch and Malibu and was sipping it idly through a straw, wondering how long it could possibly take straight boys that long to do their hair.
“Hunter, you look hot. Please stop before you officially have more product in your hair than I do,” I rolled my eyes, thankful when the alcohol finally started to hit my system. He smiled at me and made his way over.
“I just want to look good for you,” he grinned, kissing me as he sat down beside me. An unwelcome surge of guilt passed through me. Ever since I’d had my unexpected reaction to Taylor’s touch, I’d felt like a big, worthless loser around Hunter. He was so great to me, and yet I obviously still couldn’t get over Taylor, no matter how hard I tried or how platonic our relationship remained.
“You always look good for me, especially when you don’t try to look good,” I said, reaching a hand up to ruffle his hair.
“Damn it! Why did you do that?” he asked, flying off the bed and joining Zac at the mirror again. I just sighed and laid down, securing my bottle in the crook of my neck and directing my straw to my mouth. I had almost finished its contents when a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in!” Zac yelled, his head still inside his closet. I managed to move my line of sight far enough to see Jamison walk in the door as Zac and Hunter were in the process of changing clothes.
“Hey man,” Hunter said, greeting him once he had his shirt pulled over his head.
“What’s wrong with your girlfriend?” Jamison laughed.
“I died of boredom fifteen minutes ago,” I complained, still not moving.
“I told you she’s a drama queen,” Hunter said, intentionally loud enough for me to hear.
“Fuck off,” I mumbled, finally sitting up and fluffing my hair.
“If they take as long as I do to get ready, then I don’t blame you for being bored,” Jamison told me as he came to sit next to me.
“They’re worse than any of the girls I know, that’s for sure,” I said. He nodded, took my bottle from my hand and sniffed its contents before taking a sip. “Help yourself.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his forwardness.
“Oh, we’re going to be best friends by the end of the night, so it’s totally fine,” he smiled.
“Is that a fact?” I asked, snatching my drink back from him with a smile.
“Was there any doubt?” I shook my head and finished my drink before getting off the bed.
“Can we head over to the party yet?” I asked as I approached Hunter who was fishing beers out of the fridge.
“We just need to have a few beers to catch up with you and then we can go,” he said. I nodded and followed him back across the room where he handed beers to Zac and Jamison.
“So, is there anything I need to know before tonight?” Jamison asked once we were all seated.
“Well, Jackson and Chris are insane alcoholics, Taylor’s a pain in the ass, and Brooklynn’s a heinous bitch,” I said matter-of-factly.
“You have to be exaggerating,” he replied.
“She’s really not,” Zac said before finishing off his beer and chucking it across the room into the garbage can.
“Jesus, you downed that pretty fast,” I said to him, raising an eyebrow as he cracked open a second.
“What? I’m just catching up,” he shrugged.
“I didn’t drink that much,” I said, relaxing into Hunter’s touch as he placed his arm around my shoulders.
“To answer your question, Jamison, you’ll be fine. The parties are usually pretty crazy and it’s mostly music and theater majors, so you’ll recognize other people,” Hunter told him.
“There’s a bar, right?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Then I’ll be fine,” he laughed, prompting all of us to join in. Once the boys had each had a few beers, we finally headed out across campus to Jake’s house.
“There they are!” Jackson screamed from the bar area once we walked through the door. I sighed and braced myself. As much as I loved any opportunity to get drunk, the knowledge that Taylor was somewhere in the building was almost too much for me to handle. That, and the intense guilt radiating straight from my hand that was tightly clutching Hunter’s. The thoughts that had been creeping their way back into my head ever since Monday afternoon were too much and they made me so angry with myself that I could hardly stand it.
“Cam?” Hunter said, waving a hand in front of my face, “Earth to Cammy!” I shook my head, ridding it of all guilty thoughts and gave him the biggest fake smile I could muster.
“Sorry. I must’ve spaced out for a second,” I lied, releasing my hand from his grip and heading towards the bar along with everyone else. I surveyed the area and saw Jackson and Chris sitting at the bar with some of the other party regulars with Taylor and Brooklynn nowhere in sight. As much as I wanted to ask where he was, I found myself breathing in a sigh of relief. At least I could get some more alcohol in my system before I had to deal with him. I felt an arm link through mine and turned to see Jamison standing there.
“Now it’s time for us to make friends in the best and easiest way possible,” he said, slapping a five dollar bill on the bar and ordering us two shots each.
“By getting drunk together?” I laughed, finding myself incredibly grateful that he was there to ease the tension.
“Can you think of a better way?” he shrugged before placing two shot glasses full of some unknown alcohol in my hands. We clinked them together one at a time before downing them both.
“Are you getting my girlfriend drunk?” Hunter asked as he stepped up behind me and accepted a beer from Jake.
“Of course. You can thank me later when she wants crazy, uninhibited sex,” Jamison laughed and Hunter joined in.
“Well, it’s pretty obvious how little you know about Cammy,” Hunter said.
“Oh?”
“I always want crazy, uninhibited sex. Right, babe?” I asked, placing a kiss to the corner of Hunter’s mouth. He just blushed lightly and put an arm around my shoulders.
“So,” he started, attempting to find some other topic of conversation for us engage in, “Where’d Zac run off to?”
“I just saw him go in the kitchen a second ago,” Chris chimed in from behind us, “I sent him in there to do a keg stand.”
“Oh wonderful. Thank you so much. Now I’ll get to clean up after his ass all night,” Hunter sighed, “I’m going to go stop him. I’ll be right back.” Jamison grabbed two glasses of green liquid off the bar before nodding over to the empty couch in the corner. I took one of the glasses off his hands and found it to be UV Blue with lemonade. I settled in and he took a seat next to me.
“So, tell me everything about you that I need to know,” Jamison said. I smiled at him and took a long sip of my drink.
“Well, I’m Cameron Leigh Carsen. I’m a Scorpio. I enjoy being lazy, drinking a lot, looking at my boyfriend when he’s naked, and being blunt,” I said with a grin.
“Who wouldn’t like looking at your boyfriend naked? Sorry to be so campy, but my god. He’s just one of those guys who has no idea how good-looking he is.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, sinking back into the couch and delving further into a conversation with my newfound BFF Jamison. We talked about school, why he’d transferred, the people in our group of friends, and then the inevitable came up as soon as he made his way up to the bar. There stood Taylor, looking amazing as always, ordering drinks for himself and Brooklynn, or so I assumed since both a beer and something pink with a straw were passed across the bar into his hands.
“How long have you had feelings for Taylor?” Jamison asked. I choked on the liquid in my throat, coughing hard a few times to rid myself of the painful liquid in my airway.
“What?” I asked once I was able.
“Oh come on, you heard me just fine. I won’t say anything to Hunter, I promise.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I lied, allowing the last of the green liquid to pass down my throat before standing to order another.
“He suspects, you know. I’ve known him for two weeks and he already told me. He says that he wants to believe that you’re over Taylor but sometimes he can’t help but wonder. I just had to see you look at him once to know.”
“It’s nothing, and it’s none of your business,” I said, suddenly finding Jamison more obnoxious that entertaining. He reached out to grab my arm.
“I know it’s not, and I know that we’ve known each other for less than a week, but I like you already and I like Hunter, too, and I don’t want to see anyone get hurt. I just wanted to tell you to be careful. I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds.” He was just so cute that I couldn’t stay mad at him.
“If you buy me some more drinks I’ll probably forget all about it,” I said, trying my best to mean the words coming from my mouth. He nodded and flagged Jake over.
Several drinks later, I was back up at the bar with Jamison getting another round. Hunter hadn’t been back since he went to retrieve Zac from the kitchen and I just assumed that he had joined him. I didn’t matter, though, because Jamison and I were getting along great. Taylor and Brooklynn had been keeping to themselves in the other room for the most part, but were currently at the bar alongside us. I was much too drunk to be ordering more drinks and just couldn’t help but make a smart ass comment to Brooklynn when I saw her next to me.
“What are you drinking tonight, Brooklynn?” I asked, practically slurring my words at that point as I sidled up next to her at the bar, “The blood of young peasants?”
“God, you’re so annoying,” she stated, rolling her eyes at me obviously before mumbling something under her breath that made my blood run cold.
I looked at Taylor for both an explanation as to why in the hell she knew about that topic and also for some support. Instead of being a loyal friend, he stood there with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans staring at a stain on the carpet. So, I just looked back at Brooklynn, ready to do battle if that was what she wanted.
“What did you just say to me?” I asked, trying as hard as I could to retain a calm façade.
“You heard me,” she sassed, “I said it’s no wonder your mom killed herself if she had to deal with you every single day.” My eyes went wide with anger and I took a step back, hoping to regain my composure, but I couldn’t help but react in a purely primal and instinctive way.
“You are a fucking bith, Brooklynn!” I shrieked, leaping berserker-style at her. A strong arm grabbed me around the waist and yanked me back to earth and reality but not before my fist collided swift and hard with the side of her head.
“What is your problem?” Taylor shouted, getting right in my face while the unknown arm continued to hold me tight against the body behind me. The situation combined with the alcohol in my system let tears flood my eyes much more quickly than I would have liked.
“What’s my problem? Your stupid girlfriend is my problem! I have tried so hard to be nice to her, to put up with her and her bullshit and all you can do is stand there and let her be awful to people you care about.”
“What I care about is the fact that you just went ape-shit and hit my girlfriend. I don’t care what she said to you, you should not have done that.”
“You heard what she said to me! How could I just sit there?” I cried, “And how could you tell her that about me? I trusted you with that secret, Taylor! You’re one of two people I’ve ever told that to, and you knew how big of a secret it was.”
“Look, I’m sorry, Cams. But it still doesn’t excuse you making her bleed. I’m out of here,” he said, grabbing Brooklynn’s arm that wasn’t gingerly holding the side of her face, and pulling her out of the room.
“If you leave right now then we are over,” I screamed before immediately covering my Freudian slip, “Our friendship is over!”
“Good,” he said simply before turning and walking away, sending me a seething and incredibly drunk look before leaving.
“I hate, Taylor Hanson!” I sobbed, feeling my body go limp as I was spun around and pulled close to my unknown captor. I smelled Hunter’s cologne immediately and let myself sink into him, allowing him to hold me up.
“Are you okay?” he asked me, ignoring the ever-increasing murmur of the crowd that undoubtedly had their eyes fixed on us intently. I was much too drunk and too upset to answer, so I consented to sobbing louder and holding onto him so hard I was almost afraid I’d break his ribs. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”
I made no efforts to extricate myself from his arms, so he just hoisted my legs around his waist and carried me out of the party. Away from the stares. Away from the noise. As far away from the scene of the crime as possible.
Once we were outside, I tore myself out of Hunter’s tight grasp and started walking home, knowing that he was a few steps behind me. I was embarrassed, my hand hurt like hell, and my heart felt like it had just split in two. Taylor had officially made his choice, just like I’d feared he had last spring. He’d chosen her over us, over me. He’d picked her and now it was over. Completely, utterly, painfully over.