As we made our way to the basement, I could feel the alcohol begin to hit my system. A pleasant numbness began to take over my limbs and I couldn’t wait to dance with Zac. We found a spot in the overly crowded basement where a sea of bodies was moving together to the sounds of a familiar rap song. The lights were scarce and the general buzz of noise was more of an impenetrable blanket of sound than anything else.
My arms found their way around Zac’s neck and his to my waist as we lost ourselves in the rhythmic beat. I’d always loved dancing. It was a chance for me to shake away all of the inhibitions that are usually clouding my mind. All of the doubt and worry can just melt away when you’re dancing, especially with an incredibly good-looking guy. I tipped my head up to look at Zac and found him looking back at me. Yup, he definitely fit the good-looking bill. He looked so cute as he gave me a half-smile and pulled me flush against him. I couldn’t help it as a blush spread over my face as I felt parts of him I hadn’t felt before. I was no prude or innocent, but reaching new territory with a guy I actually liked wasn’t something I was so used to.
“Have I told you yet how hot you look tonight?” he asked directly in my ear.
“No, you seem to have left that out,” I smiled. He pulled back and looked me up and down.
“Seriously. You look amazing,” he said, his eyes finally settling on my chest. Horny drunk, indeed.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I stated, grabbing his belt loops and pulling him back to me before turning around to press my back against him. I started moving my hips in a way he obviously liked as it caused him to roughly grab my hips and pull me even closer.
“What am I getting myself into with you?” he laughed.
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Oh god… I’d wait forever for you,” he said, tipping my head to the side so he could kiss me. My body turned back around to face him, mostly of its own volition, and before I knew what was happening, my back was against the rough wall of the basement. I wanted him so badly. It was basically all I could think about as his mouth continued to move intensely with mine. I knew that groping my non-boyfriend in the middle of a frat party was not exactly the classiest thing to do, but I was too far gone and way too into the moment to particularly care. Just as I felt his hand start to feel its way up my side, I also felt a tap on my shoulder. I peeked one eye open and saw Gwen standing there gaping at me.
“Esme Addison Lee! You take this boy home this instant!” she laughed, holding herself up on the wall. Braeden ran up behind her.
“Gwenny! It’s time for another beer bong!” he said, pulling her back up the stairs, “And stop being such a skank, Esme!” Oh, how I hated Braeden sometimes. Zac took my chin in his hand and turned it back towards him.
“So Esme. Are you going to follow your wise roommate’s advice?” he smirked. I let my head drop back against the wall. I knew that it should probably have hurt, but it didn’t and I just wrote that off to being too drunk to notice. I really wanted to take him home, but the overly-logical part of my mind started working slowly in the background.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…” I said, suddenly fascinated in the bottom hem of my shirt.
“And why is that?”
“I just don’t think that we should be drunk the first time we sleep together,” I stated, trying to sound convincing.
“Well, I would agree with that one hundred percent… but going back to your place doesn’t mean that we have to have sex. There are lots of other things we haven’t tried yet,” he said softly, wiggling his eyebrows at me and pulling me close again. Oh… he was good. That, and I knew he was right. I didn’t say a word, I just pulled out of his arms and nodded towards the stairs. After digging my coat out of a large pile on the living room couch, we were on our way.
It always amazed me how much faster the walk home was when I was drunk. It seemed like we were there in no time. My hands were practically shaking as I tried to unlock the door, knowing what could be transpiring in a matter of minutes.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Nodding at him, I gave him a little smile and finally pushed the door open. As the door shut, it felt like all of the sound got sucked out of the room along with it. We stood there in momentary silence, and I hated silence. I took off my coat and placed it on the rack. He hadn’t been wearing one, so he just stood there and watched me. It amazed me that he looked so comfortable, as if he wasn’t nervous at all. We hadn’t done anything past some pretty basic making out and I knew that a clothing-free option was on its way. Even though I really liked Zac and felt that I could trust him, no amount of alcohol could take away my naked nervousness.
“My, um… my room is down here,” I said, tripping over my words. I cursed myself silently and lead the way. Zac followed closely on my heels and I tried to calm myself down. As we entered my room, I found myself incredibly glad that I’d made the decision to clean up a bit that afternoon. The only source of clutter was my desk, as usual. If Zac didn’t like me because my desk was messy, then he probably wasn’t the right guy for me anyway. I went over to my closet and set my purse on the top shelf, taking a deep breath before turning back around. Zac was seated on the edge of my bed leaning back on his hands and staring right at me. Whenever he looked at me, it felt like he could see right to the core of me and that wasn’t something I was used to feeling.
“Are you freaking out?” he asked me.
“No, why would I be freaking out?”
“I don’t know, but you look like you’re borderline panicking.” I sighed and went to sit beside him on the bed.
“Even though I’m drunk and that should be taking away all of my nerves, I can’t help but be a little bit nervous,” I admitted.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about. We’ve already decided that we’re not having sex, so that pressure’s gone. And, nothing is going to happen tonight that we don’t both agree upon. So stop being nervous.” I just smiled at him and collapsed dramatically back onto the bed.
“I keep forgetting that you’re such a nice guy,” I laughed. He took my position as an open invitation and climbed on top of me, sitting lightly on my thighs.
“Is that so?” he smiled, reaching his hands out to my sides.
“It is.”
“I’m not always so nice, you know,” he said, raising an eyebrow at me. My hands found his and latched onto them.
“Oh but you are, and it’s oh-so refreshing. I’m so sick of guys who pretend to be nice but are really jerks. You’re a good one.” Zac just looked at me for a second before leaning down to kiss me.
“I’m not going to hurt you like they did,” he breathed, his mouth less than an inch from mine. At that moment, I wanted to cry, but instead I just fisted my hand in his hair and pulled him back to me.
I don’t know how long we kept at it, but I do know that our clothes slowly made their way to my floor and that we kept to our promise of no sex. We were, however, unable to keep ourselves from doing basically everything else imaginable. Of course there were the moments common to first times with new partners: bad positioning, awkward misses in the dark, but all in all it went pretty damned well. I had been so right about wanting his mouth all over my body. Seriously.
When we’d finished, we were just laying there, unsure where to go next. To sleep? To cuddle? To talk? I didn’t know what should happen or what he wanted for that matter. Finally, he made the decision for us.
“Esme?” he asked, turning to face me. I did the same and smiled at him through the faint light passing through my blinds.
“Yes?”
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked with a cheesy smile. I laughed and shook my head at him.
“Oh sure, ask me now after we’ve fooled around for the past god-knows-how-long,” I said.
“I mean it! Don’t laugh!” he pouted. I scooted over and rested my chin on his chest.
“I know you do and that’s why it’s so adorable. Of course I’ll be you girlfriend, Zac.” His hand traced lightly up and down my back as he looked down at me.
“Good. Now you’re officially my bitch,” he said, trying to maintain his composure and not laugh.
“I, Zac Hanson, am nobody’s bitch,” I stated sassily, trying to move away from him. He moved onto his side and pulled me back to him, spooning me. Oh how I loved spooning.
“Okay, okay. You can just be my girlfriend, I guess.”
“I’m glad that’s settled. Now let’s go to sleep,” I replied as I turned my head back to kiss him good-night. Without a word, he just kissed me back and then got comfortable on the pillow. As I lay there, I couldn’t help but smile. It was all happening so quickly. My brain was still swimming from the alcohol and the events that had just transpired in my bed with the guy I had been crushing on for months. Everything he had said tonight that had been so perfect kept replaying in my head as I tried to fall asleep. Just as I was about to drift off, a noise shook me back to reality. Great, my new boyfriend was a snorer. Damn it.