Fallon // Chapter Four

Isaac stayed with us that night, not wanting to leave Fallon’s side. He slept on the couch next to her crib and got up to hold her every time she cried. I had a blissful and full night of sleep knowing that Fallon was being taken care of.

He looked like hell when I found him sitting at the kitchen table in the morning, but he was smiling.

“Morning sunshine,” he said, sipping the cup of instant coffee he’d made himself.

“Hello,” I said, giving his shoulder a squeeze as I passed him. I poured myself a bowl of Coco Puffs before sitting down at the small table across from him.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you. You?” The dark circles beneath his eyes told me that he hadn’t slept well, if at all, but I returned the polite sentiment anyway.

“I only got about an hour, but it was worth it,” he smiled, “It’s still so unreal.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t believe you’re here and are okay with everything,” I admitted, suddenly finding the depths of my cereal bowl terribly interesting.

“Did really you think I wouldn’t be okay with it?” he asked. I shrugged, watching as my spoon jostled the little puffy spheres as they turned my milk from white to brown.

“I always assume the worst, I guess. I was just afraid you wouldn’t believe me at first–which you didn’t–or that you’d leave without letting me explain.”

“It’s not that I didn’t believe you, it was more that I couldn’t believe the situation,” he explained.

“I know. And I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t want you to be a part of Fallon’s life, it’s just that the thought of moving to Manhattan is something I never imagined would happen to me, because I’ve known that I could never afford it on my own,” I paused, “I’ve never taken charity from anyone before.”

“It’s not charity. Think of it as… child support,” he laughed. I looked at him and smiled. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before Fallon started to cry.

“I’ve got her this time,” I said, “That’s a hungry cry.”

“Yeah. I did feed her a bottle I found in the fridge last night, but you’ll need to, um, make some more,” he said, standing and looking into the fridge awkwardly. I laughed to myself as I sat down to feed Fallon.

“You can leave, Isaac. I know that you have stuff to do.” He looked at me and nodded.

“I should probably go take a shower and ask the guys to meet me for lunch. That way I should have time to talk to the building owner before we go eat.”

“Where do you want us to be and at what time?”

“We usually eat in TriBeCa because that’s close to the studio. Why don’t you take her to Square Diner at West Broadway and Leonard at one. I’ll make sure that if we’re coming, we’ll be there by one-thirty. If we aren’t there by then, you can leave and I’ll call you later to tell you what happened,” he said. It was actually a pretty good idea, except for the fact that I was not looking forward to taking Fallon on the subway for the first time. And, I’d definitely be swaddling Fallon like they taught me at the hospital before we ventured out into the New York winter.

“We’ll be there.”

“Sounds good. And after that, I’m taking my daughter shopping,” he said, bending to lightly hold her hand for a moment.

“Shopping? For what?” I laughed, “She’s not even a week old!”

“For whatever I want,” he said, “I’ll see you by one-thirty.”

“I sure hope so, otherwise this whole situation will be very bad.” I didn’t want to be the voice of doom, but I wasn’t imbued with his natural optimism.

“We’ll be there,” he smiled, giving a kiss to both of our foreheads. With that, he left the apartment that would only be mine for a few more days no matter how the meeting with his brothers went.

I looked at the furniture that adorned my small apartment. It wasn’t the kind of furniture that should go in a nice condo. Hell, there wasn’t even enough furniture to fill a condo. Would he buy us couches and dining room tables and beds and lamps and everything else a proper home needed?

Of course he would.

Did I want him to? Not at all. This whole situation was quickly slipping between my fingers. I had no choice in the matter, not because Isaac said so, but because it was what was best for Fallon. If I wanted anything in my life, it was for my daughter to have a warm and comfortable life.

I also knew that I had to remember one important thing. She was no longer just my daughter. She was ours, and when an ‘ours’ is involved, one person doesn’t get to make all the decisions.

After Fallon had finished eating, I rocked her until she drifted into a nap. By nine I had her down in her crib while I was quietly cleaning the apartment. My mother was due to arrive any minute and I knew she wouldn’t be happy that Fallon and I had to leave by one, but she would understand. If my mother had taught me anything, it was that family is everything. It’s the most important thing in the world.

I was almost finished dusting the living room when there was a loud knock at the door. I knew instantly that it was my mother, because I had listened to her pound on my door when I overslept every day of high school. I’d recognize that endless thudding until the day I died. I sat the duster down on the table and headed for the door, cursing under my breath as my mother kept banging and banging.

“My god, Mom! Fallon is sleeping! Do you want to deal with a screaming newborn?” was my greeting to her. She immediately pulled me into an impossibly tight hug before thrusting me back out to arm’s length for inspection.

“You look good,” was all she said, pushing the stray strands of hair from my face and kissing me on the cheek.

“Yeah, well, I got a good night’s sleep.”

“With a newborn? Lucky. You cried and cried and cried.”

“I know, I know, Mom! You hardly slept for the first three months of my life. I’ve been guilt-tripped enough about that one,” I teased, pulling her into another hug. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until right then.

“I love you, sweetie. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you.”

“You had to work, Mom. And we made it through okay.”

“I know you did. Now let me see this beautiful granddaughter of mine!” With a proudness I had never felt before, I led my way across the room to Fallon’s crib. My mother’s hands went straight to her cheeks.

“Oh, Julianne. She’s amazing! Look at all that hair!” she whispered, putting her arm around me. My head sunk comfortably to her shoulder as we looked down at my beautiful daughter.

“Isn’t it great? Exactly her dad’s color, too.” At that, Mom scoffed.

“And what ever happened with the famous musician? Still ignoring your letters?”

“He never got them. He came to see me last night and didn’t know anything,” I explained.

“You really believe that?” she asked doubtfully. It was in her nature not to trust people, especially ones who had badly hurt her only child. The Mama Bear instinct was strong in her.

“The man is incapable of lying, Mom, trust me. He wants to get Fallon and I a condo in his building so we can be close, but I don’t know…” I drifted off, expecting her to chime in to back me up.

“What, are you crazy? If he wants to buy you a fancy place to live, then take it! We Bakers don’t get many chances like that!” she said.

“I just don’t like taking stuff I haven’t earned.”

“You went through nine months of a pregnancy without him. Let him feel guilty and pamper you a bit,” she said, giving my arm a squeeze and pulling me tighter, “You deserve it and he obviously knows it.”

“You’re right. You’re always right,” I sighed, giving in once more to the thing that felt so wrong, “By the way, Fallon and I have to go to TriBeCa in a few hours to meet Isaac’s brothers.”

“That’s fine. I can only stay for a little while anyway because I’m taking the dinner shift for one of the girls so she can go out for her husband’s birthday.”

“That’s nice of you, Mom,” I told her. I was always in awe of her unthinking generosity. If it was the right thing to do for someone else, someone whose trust had been earned, then she did it. No questions asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, “But am I going to get to hold her or what?”

I spent two hours with my mom before she left so I could get ready for the big meeting. The whole time I was getting ready, I felt sick to my stomach. I was so glad I had talked Isaac out of wanting me to be there at lunch. That was going to be one awkard situation, and I was glad to be as far away from it as possible.

Fallon and I left the apartment heading for the subway in plenty of time to make it there by one. I pushed her in a stroller, her tiny body swaddled and wrapped, and had the address to the restaurant scribbled on the back on a receipt clutched in my hand. As I tried to avoid all of the larger bumps and cracks in the sidewalk, I kept my eyes peeled for the diner I’d never been to before. I’d hardly even been in TriBeCa, so the street names Isaac had rattled off so casually might as well have been located in Houston for how familiar they were to me.

At two minutes until one, I finally spotted it and sighed with relief. Fallon was still sleeping, and the place didn’t look expensive, so I would probably be able to afford lunch for myself. The thought that Isaac had probably taken that into consideration flashed through my mind, but instead of being embarassed, I felt relieved. A tuna melt sounded pretty fantastic.

I ordered, found us a table in the back big enough for four adults and a stroller, and settled in to wait. Those thirty minutes were the longest of my life.

Chapter Five

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