The next morning at ten after nine, I watched as a battered U-Haul pulled up on the narrow street outside my apartment building. Fallon was resting snugly in the Baby Bjorn carrier Isaac had bought for me so I could hold Fallon and still be able to use my hands to get things done. It was the only item I had really let Isaac splurge on since it could be used for a long time as she continued to grow, and it was a damned smart invention that would certainly make the day go easier. She was lying comfortably against my chest as she snoozed when they knocked on the door.
“I’m so glad you only live on the second floor,” was Zac’s greeting. Isaac shook his head and tried not to smile.
“I told Isaac to hire movers,” I laughed, stepping aside so they could enter.
“In case you haven’t noticed, Ike’s a little stubborn.”
“Isaac? Stubborn? I never would have guessed,” I teased. Isaac walked over to smooth his hand over Fallon’s soft hair before kissing my cheek.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked.
Surprisingly, I was. Seeing all of my worldly belongings in boxes wasn’t as traumatic as I’d imagined it would be, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it had everything to do with Isaac. His unyielding optimism and that damned adorable smile were erasing all of my fears. And, he hadn’t let me step foot in the condo yet, so I was also excited to see it for the first time. It was where I was going to be living from now on, after all.
“This is it?” Zac asked as he looked around the room at the furniture and boxes.
“That’s it,” I said, stepping out of the way once more as they each grabbed a box and headed for the hall.
I felt helpless and stupid, sitting there watching them haul everything down to the truck. I was strong, and I wasn’t used to not helping in situations like this. It took them almost two hours to get everything organized in the truck, and as the room emptied, I triple-checked to be sure that I was leaving everything clean to ensure that I would get all of my deposit back.
“Zac’s getting the truck fired up. Are you ready to go?” Isaac asked, as I stood staring out the window. The view was so familiar and comforting, and I knew that I was seeing it for the very last time, so I let my gaze linger on for a few more moments before turning to him and nodding.
“I’ll go turn in my keys,” I replied as I took Fallon out of the carrier and handed her to Isaac, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Sounds good. I can’t wait for you to see the place,” he grinned. I wanted to smile back at him, but couldn’t as panic started to take over. I wanted so badly for him to notice that I was sad, that while part of me was excited, a huge part of me was mourning the soon-to-be loss of this apartment terribly. But, he didn’t or pretended not to. I didn’t know which would be worse.
He left once he had Fallon in the Baby Bjorn and talked softly to her as he walked out the door. I stood in the middle of the now empty room, amazed at how different it looked from when I’d moved in. Then, it had been dirty and dank. It still wasn’t fancy, but I had completely turned the place around. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I moved quickly to the hallway, shutting off the lights and locking the door before I had a chance to dwell on it any longer.
My building’s super was in his office watching soap operas like he did all day every day instead of fixing the plethora of issues in the building. He took the keys from me, wrote down my new address, and within seconds I was walking to the street. The U-Haul was rumbling noisily at the curb and Isaac was standing on the sidewalk, still grinning ridiculously.
“Your chariot awaits,” he joked, gesturing for the open passenger door. I knew that my eyes still had to be red, that I couldn’t possibly look like I was in the mood for jokes, but he just turned his attention to Fallon while I climbed into the U-Haul. The ride took forever since we were traveling in a beast of a vehicle and had to take it easy. I was crammed in hip to hip between Zac and Isaac who was incredibly uncomfortable about not having Fallon in a proper car seat and kept scolding Zac every time he hit a pothole or took a turn too fast.
When we finally came to a stop, my eyes opened wide. The street was beautiful and the building made my old apartment building look like a crack house.
“Home sweet home,” Isaac smiled.
“This is where we’re living?” I asked.
“I’m on the eighth floor and you and Fallon will be on the second,” he explained.
“Thank god,” Zac said as he shut off the truck.
“I want to take them up and show them the place before we start unpacking. Do you mind giving us a minute?” Isaac asked Zac.
“Not at all,” Zac replied, “I’ll just, you know, go upstairs.” Isaac nodded in agreement and carefully climbed from the truck. I followed and noticed that Zac lingered on the street, making a call on his cell phone instead of coming in with us to the elevators.
“I can’t wait for you to see it,” he said once we were on the elevator. Now that we were in the building, I was starting to get nervous. Everything was so clean and bright, there was a doorman, and the building actually had an elevator. It was more of a distant cry from my old place than I had imagined, but I had to admit, I was just as excited as I was nervous. My mom had been right. If this was Isaac’s way of apologizing for not being around during my pregnancy, then I supposed it was okay. “You’re down here at the end of the hall.”
“It’s a corner apartment?” I asked as we reached the door.
“It was the only one they had available. The last owners had already painted and everything, so I left most of it because they used nice colors. I hope you don’t mind,” he said.
“Most of it?” I questioned. He just smiled and unlocked the door. I looked over at Fallon who was quietly resting against Isaac’s sternum, her eyelids fluttering as she roused from sleep.
“Oh good, you’re awake. Now you can see it, too,” Isaac said to her. I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly.
“I’m sure she’ll be very impressed,” I said as he pushed the door open.
He let me go inside first, and my heart swelled. Beautiful hardwood floors ran throughout the main living space which consisted of a large living room and beautiful kitchen with stainless steel appliances. Pendant lights hung over an extended part of the counter, making a little breakfast bar that already had two stools placed at it, both with little red bows stuck to the seats.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“It’s beautiful,” I answered, stepping further inside.
“I got you the stools just because I knew that you didn’t have any,” he said, “Come on, let’s see the rest of the place.”
I followed him towards the hallway which had four doors leading off of it. The first two housed a good-sized linen closet and a beautiful half bathroom with white tile and black accents on the floor and walls. The last two rooms were at the very end of the hall and one of the doors was shut. Isaac guided me to the open room first.
“This is the bigger of the two bedrooms and it has a full bath off of it, so I figured you’d want to be your room,” he said as he carefully took Fallon from the carrier and handed her to me.
“It’s great,” I said before peeking in the closet, which I found to be a walk-in, “Scratch that, it’s amazing.” He stood there and smiled as I took in everything from the moss green color of the walls to the huge bathtub in the bathroom.
“Ready to see Fallon’s room?” he asked, and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was excited. He led the way, but paused with his hand on the doorknob. “Please don’t be mad at me. I did this because I wanted to, not because I thought you needed it, okay?”
I nodded uncertainly, trying to get a read on him before he turned the knob and revealed the most beautiful baby room I’d ever seen. Light yellow paint coated the walls, and pristine white furniture filled the room. In the corner by the window sat a rocking chair with what appeared to be a handmade light green afghan draped over the back, and a matching one covered the crib mattress. Framed pictures of vintage Winnie the Pooh illustrations were placed around the room.
“Are you mad?” he asked, and I realized that I’d been staring for several minutes and hadn’t said anything.
“No, I’m not mad. This is perfect, Isaac. Thank you,” I said, trying not to cry. He walked over to us and stood close, looking down at Fallon.
“Do you like your new room?” he asked her softly, and she gazed up at him with her big blue eyes. After a few moments, he turned his gaze to me. “I know that this is hard for you, but I already missed out on so much. I missed feeling her kick inside your stomach, and seeing the ultrasounds, and being there to hold your hand when she was born. I don’t want to miss anything else, and I want you two to be happy.”
“I am happy, Isaac,” I said. He leaned in, his lips a whisper away from mine, and I let my eyes close while I waited for him to kiss me for the first time in nine months.