Time: Back In The Day / Kinsey: Age 14 / Pre-YIM
Rating: Minorly Inappropriate
“Name?” Tif asked, hunched excitedly over the keyboard to her family’s computer. Kinsey sat beside her, her feet tucked under her and her face contorted into a look of complete concentration.
“Taylor. It’s been awhile since we did one about him,” she laughed, watching as Tif navigated the cursor to that text box in the online Mad Lib they were completing. They had already completed about fifteen, finding themselves far more entertained than they knew they should have been.
“We need another name,” Tif said, not waiting for Kinsey to respond before typing Kinsey’s name into the blank.
“Last time you did that it made it something gross,” Kinsey groaned, remembering the first they had done that which had landed Taylor and Kinsey married for 485 years with a hundred pet sea monkeys. Tif just shrugged.
“All we need now is a creature.”
“Giraffe,” Kinsey said as if the answer was completely obvious.
“Any particular reason?” Tif laughed.
“Any particular reason you put my name down?” Kinsey sassed, “Just shut up and press generate.” Tif shook her head at her best friend before doing just that. As the screen loaded before them, they both leaned in to read:
Hello, my name is Taylor.
I was born in Djibouti, but when I was just 69 years old, my father’s new business got transferred to France.
At such a young age I didn’t understand enough about this whole moving thing. But I was a little disappointed.
I grew and grew and when I was 12, I got a job to be a butt pirate at the mall. By then I owned my own pet giraffe. He was sexy and slimy.
I loved licking it. Its fur was blue and I loved petting it. But 83 years later my pet died.
I thought my life was naughty after that. My dear little freaky was gone. I was very lonely for a very long time. But then I met Liberace.
He was the light of my entire life. We met at pumpkin patch and we pranced all night. A few fortnight later we got married. Our first child’s name was Kinsey.
“Oh my god! That’s the best one yet!” Tif laughed, her face red.
“I don’t think I can ever look at a giraffe without imagining Taylor licking it. So disturbing…” Kinsey chuckled, taking a sip of her pop.
“I think that if the whole rock star thing doesn’t work, Taylor should totally apply for the butt pirate position at the mall.”
“Should we call him and tell him?” Kinsey asked.
“Sure,” Tif laughed, watching as Kinsey snatched the phone off the hook and started dialing.