“Taylor, wake up,” Adrian said sternly, waking Taylor out of the fitful sleep that had been plaguing him all night. When he’d been drinking, he either slept like the dead or slept like hell. That night had been filled with the latter.
“Fuck off,” Taylor mumbled, snaking an arm around Mr. Spanky before rolling over and burying his face in a pillow.
“I’m not joking. Get up now.” The tinge of urgency in Adrian’s voice, something Taylor had not heard in the time he had known him, prompted him to finally peek his eyes open. Adrian was standing next to the bed with Isaac and Zac, all of them looking stressed out and tired. The sight of them made Taylor’s blood run cold and he sat up, the feeling of sleepiness leaving his system immediately.
“What’s going on?” he asked. Zac looked at the animal still held in place by Taylor’s arm and frowned.
“Is that a fucking stuffed giraffe?” Taylor just shot him a pissy look and threw it at his younger brother.
“What’s going on?” he repeated, knowing full well that they wouldn’t all be there if something important wasn’t going on. He couldn’t even remember the last time his brothers had come to his place by choice. They always met at Isaac’s for meetings, and Sheridan was always at Zac’s so they avoided that place like the plague. Something was definitely not right and that fact was further ingrained with every second that passed without them telling him. The silence in the room was so palpable that each throb of his heart felt like a knife being dug deeper into his chest. “Just tell me!”
“You’ve been outed,” Adrian told him simply.
“What?” Taylor asked dumbly.
“Someone at Xcape got a picture of you and Dominic together and sent it to every big tabloid.”
“A picture of what? Dominic and I weren’t doing anything incriminating at the bar!” Taylor said, hearing the hysteria seep into his voice and not caring.
“At the bar?” Zac asked, making a face of disgust before leaving the room.
“Homophobic bastard!” Taylor yelled out at his brother’s retreating form.
“YOU’RE NOT GAY!” Zac yelled back, turning so Taylor could see the annoyance in his expression.
“Whether or not he is, everyone in the world is going to think he is,” Adrian said before turning his attention to Taylor, “You should get up and take a shower.”
“Why?” Taylor asked, getting up anyway.
“Because now we have to spend the day doing damage control, that’s why,” Isaac said, sounding as annoyed as Zac had looked. He left the room as well, leaving Adrian and Taylor alone in the room.
“I’m sorry this happened,” Adrian said sincerely, “This isn’t how it should have happened if you wanted it to happen at all.”
“I knew there was a risk,” Taylor sighed, picking up Mr. Spanky and setting him on the bed before going into the bathroom and closing the door. It was then that he realized that his hands were shaking and he felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. He threw open the lid to the toilet and wretched repeatedly, emptying the contents of his stomach into the bowl before flushing. His legs stopped supporting the squatting position he was in and he collapsed onto the cold black tile floor. Someone had taken a picture of Dominic and Taylor together and had taken the time to send it to the tabloids. He couldn’t imagine who would have done such a thing. Everyone had seemed to be in their own little drunken, groping world. And then it came back to him. The guy working the coat check. The “fan.” Taylor shoved himself to a standing position and went out into the living room where he found Isaac, Zac, and Adrian watching E!.
“Where are the magazines?” Taylor demanded. Adrian nodded at Taylor’s dining room table where a neat stack of cheaply made magazines lay. He grabbed the top one before crying out and throwing it against the wall. On the front page of all of them was a picture of Taylor and Dominic, the supposed fan neatly and conveniently cut out from where he had been sitting on Taylor’s other side. “That little fucker!”
“Do you know who did it?” Isaac asked.
“The fucking guy working the coat check said he was a big fan and asked if he could take a picture with me. Some drunk guy walking by took it and I guess he didn’t just take it of me and the guy so Dominic wound up in it, too. Some fucking fan,” Taylor ranted, pulling at his hair with both hands as he paced around the room.
“He probably wasn’t a fan,” Isaac scolded, “You should have known better.”
“Oh right, I forgot that you always make the best decisions in life, Ike! You’re so much better than me!”
“I didn’t say that! I just meant that you should have been more careful hanging out at a gay bar. People are vultures and will do anything to make a buck.”
“Either I let him take the picture and risked people finding out I was at a gay bar or I refused and risked people thinking I’m a jerk. I’d rather people think I’m gay than an asshole like you,” Taylor spat before going back into the bathroom. He turned on the exhaust fan and stepped under the spray, not even caring that the water was still icy. His skin was so flushed with anger and panic that he didn’t mind the contrasting temperature. Everything had turned into an epic disaster. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just go through this process without having so many people involved, especially now that “so many people” had turned into the entire world. The message boards would be frantic with people posting, speculating. Was he or wasn’t he?
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Taylor repeated over and over, each word accentuated as he struck his forehead lightly against the tile wall of the shower. What was he going to have to do? Say he wasn’t gay, say he was gay? Either would be a lie since he was no closer to knowing than he had been before his date with Dominic. And he couldn’t just deny everything, because he wouldn’t do that to Dominic either. He was sure he would be pressed with questions all day as well and thought about calling him to see if he was okay. Taylor shook his head and grabbed for his shampoo. Of course Dominic was okay. He was out of the closet and adored world-wide by women and men alike. Taylor supposed that for all the famous gay men in the world, Dominic was the best one to be seen out in public with.
Taylor turned and looked at himself in the mirror through the glass shower door. His hands worked the lather through his hair, he could see his arms completing the action. He recognized every part of his body except his face. It was wearing an expression unlike one he had ever seen grace his features before. A combination of fear, worry, and amazingly enough, mild amusement lay there. Taylor found himself almost giggling at the idea of how incredibly pissed off and disgusted his brothers probably were, sitting out there worrying and wondering when the speculation would turn to the TV. While he normally would have felt guilty about such a thing, they had been such bastards about most of the process, he couldn’t help but feel a little vindicated at their annoyance. However, he knew that their fans would be in an uproar and that didn’t make him feel good. They deserved to find out in a way other than from the rag mags he’d always managed to avoid. Until that day, it seemed.
He finished his shower and went into his bedroom, dressing and blow drying his hair before going out to face them again. Taylor couldn’t mask his shock when he saw that Flannery and Tre had joined them, all of them staring at the TV. With a sigh, he saw the picture on the screen, Ryan Seacrest talking about the rumors. He had to snort at the thought of Ryan Seacrest talking about a potentially closeted guy when he himself seemed the poster child for the topic.
“Taylor…” Flannery said sympathetically, coming over and throwing her arms around Taylor’s neck.
“This sucks, man. I’m sorry,” Tre said. Taylor shrugged and went to sit down on the loveseat.
“I can think of worse things,” he said honestly. And it was true. He could have been on the news for getting a DUI or going to rehab or impregnating someone. Instead, it was all stemming from one picture. “It was the guy working the coat check. He sat down next to me and asked for a picture.”
“Trevor?” Tre asked, obviously surprised, “That little asshole. He’s obsessed with you guys.”
“Not as much as he wants some money, I guess,” Isaac said.
“See? He is a fan,” Taylor said snidely to Isaac.
“Yeah, I caught that.” Isaac rolled his eyes and slid further back into the soft leather of Taylor’s couch. Flannery sat down on the arm of the loveseat next to Taylor and handed him a soda.
“Do Mom and Dad know about this?” Taylor asked his brothers hesitantly.
“They never get online, and I’m pretty sure they don’t watch E! or MTV or anything like that, so I doubt it,” Isaac said, obviously trying to play a little nicer now.
“We sure as hell didn’t tell them,” Zac seethed. He on the other hand, obviously wasn’t trying to improve his attitude.
“What are you going to do?” Flannery asked, smoothing a hand over the back of Taylor’s head.
“Issue a statement on the website, I guess. I have to do something.”
“Or we could just ignore it and pretend like it didn’t happen. I know that’s what I’m going to do,” Zac mumbled.
“Get out of my house,” Taylor said to him and when Zac looked at him in surprise, “I’m dead serious. Get the fuck out.”
“Fine, I don’t want to be here anyway,” Zac said, still mumbling before standing and walking out the front door. Taylor noted that Isaac didn’t make any moves to get up. It was the first time in their lives that Isaac had taken Taylor’s side. Flannery, ever the observant one, realized this and reached down to take Taylor’s hand in hers. She gave it a tight squeeze.
“We should probably go do something about this,” Isaac said, “Want to go get some lunch and then go to my place to post on the website?” Taylor nodded and looked at Adrian, Flannery, and Tre before following Isaac out the door. Once they were seated in Isaac’s Honda Pilot, Isaac cleared his throat and spoke.
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” he said quickly, “I didn’t mean it like that.
“I know,” Taylor replied. They drove the rest of the way to Finnigan’s in silence.
They went it and headed for their usual table. Tatum saw them, but didn’t head over with her usual fervor. In fact, the way she was looking at them made Taylor almost certain that she had heard the news. She grabbed two menus from the bar and made her way over, dropping them unceremoniously in the middle of their table before crossing her arms over her chest and looking at Taylor.
“You could have just told me you were gay,” she said, hurt crossing her face briefly before melting away. Taylor knew she didn’t want to show him that it had affected her in any way other than being an annoyance. “I wouldn’t have bothered you so much if I knew.”
“Tatum, I’m not-” he started, but he couldn’t finish the sentence. He couldn’t tell her that he wasn’t gay, because he still didn’t know if that statement was true.
“He’s not talking about it,” Isaac finished, coming up with an adequate enough lie, “Not until we issue a statement. Please understand.” She looked at Taylor and only Taylor for a moment.
“You sure didn’t fuck like a gay guy,” she said simply before walking away, not even asking them if they wanted something to drink.
“Jesus…” Isaac said, “She’s pissed.”
“She’s an idiot,” Taylor sighed, shoving the menus to the edge of the table. They both knew what they were ordering so there was no point in even looking.
“This news is going to break a lot of hearts,” Isaac laughed. It was a genuine laugh even though Taylor knew how hard it must have been for him to do.
“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?”
“I’m your big brother, Taylor. I was thinking about it the whole way over to your place this morning, and I was so pissed off. I just kind of realized that I wasn’t being pissed off because of how all of this would affect you, I only cared about how much work it was going to be for us to deal with and how it was going to affect the band,” Isaac told him, “I’m used to thinking about the band first, it’s just what we’ve had to do ever since we took things over ourselves. And, I guess I’ve just been trying to convince myself that you were being selfish when really it was my fault and Zac’s for not putting you and your feelings first. If we don’t have your back, who does? And don’t say Flannery because that’s not the same and you know it.” Taylor nodded, unable to fully process the confession Isaac was sending his way.
“Well, I appreciate it. I know this isn’t easy for you. And for the record, I never meant to fuck things up for the band. I guess I was just stupid enough to think that I could do all of this without anyone ever finding out.”
“You’re not stupid, Taylor, you’re just clueless,” Isaac started, “But, we figured that one out a long time ago.” They both laughed and a different waitress came up to take their order. Obviously, Tatum had decided that she didn’t want to wait on them. They waited a few minutes for their food and while they ate, they decided what they would put on the website. After Taylor had eagerly consumed his loaded fries, they took off for Isaac’s apartment, which was thankfully currently Ellie-free, and sat down at the computer to issue the statement from Taylor.
I’m sure all of you are aware of the rumors and picture currently circling the media regarding my presence at a gay bar in Tulsa with Dominic. Right now, all I can ask of you is to believe only what you read here on Hanson.net. We have tried our hardest throughout the years to be forthright with you about everything and I plan to continue to do so.
I know that this statement doesn’t contain the information many of you want it to, but know that when and if I’m ready to make any sort of further statement, all of you will be the first to know. You are amazing fans and I hope that you will all continue to be supportive during this time.
Taylor