Starter // Chapter Sixteen

Quin was startled to the point of temporary paralysis as Taylor’s mouth came crashing against hers. Out of the all the things she could have imagined him doing when she was intentionally ignoring him in her shop, him kissing her out of the blue was definitely not one of the options. It wasn’t a logical response, nor was it particularly edifying. It didn’t tell her why he was there and she could tell from the desperate way his hand was clasped around her forearm that he wasn’t entirely sure why he was doing it either. And then there was the fact that even though the situation was deplorable and Magda was likely standing there gaping at them like an old lady watching her favorite daytime soap, Quin couldn’t help but enjoy the kiss and return it despite herself. He was, annoyingly, just that good.

When his lips had finally captured hers for the last time, he pulled back and let out an unsteady breath, his hand not relinquishing its grasp until he seemed to have gotten control of himself.

“Feel better now?” Quin asked, meaning to sound mildly irritated and instead sounding breathy and rather like she wanted to ravage him right there on the table of designer tank tops.

“In some ways,” he admitted with a little laugh, finally taking a small step back.

“So, why are you here, Taylor? Besides to maul me in the middle of a work day,” she questioned with a smile threatening to show. Though it hadn’t made its way to her lips, she was sure it was evident in her voice and that was bad enough.

“I just wanted to see you again,” he told her, “And I want to know why you left.” Quin looked at him and she wanted to tell him that she hadn’t stayed because she had thought he wouldn’t want her to, and that she was afraid that he would be completely disinterested after getting his way. But, she couldn’t tell him those things because then she would be the vulnerable one once more. She had felt nothing but old and slightly embarrassed since she had woken up after her post-sex slumber, sure that he was probably laughing off his latest conquest with his buddies. Now, it seemed that it wasn’t the case at all. If he had been doing that, there was no way he would be there, standing before her asking why she left.

“I just did, okay?” she asked.

“I wish you wouldn’t have,” he said with a shrug, “It felt weird that after everything that happened between us that night that you didn’t even say good-bye.”

“Taylor, you got what you wanted. You finally got me to sleep with you. Don’t try to make it something more than that, okay?” she asked without meeting his eyes. One more second of looking into his unreadable expression would have had her spilling her guts at any moment. She imagined that she had seen flashes of hurt and anger flash in his eyes before she had ripped her gaze from his and part of her, a part she was suddenly scared of, wanted to say something to ease his pain, whatever it was and whatever its cause.

“I’m not,” he sighed, “I just… I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with me. I can’t stop thinking about you. And that’s not me, I’m never that guy.”

“Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?” she asked, finally feeling brave enough to look at him again.

“I don’t know how you could take it as anything else. Just, I don’t know… come to lunch with me,” he requested.

“Why?”

“Why not?” he laughed, “What do you have to lose? It’s lunch.”

Quin wanted to tell him that she thought that if she went to lunch with him she might lose dignity, control, and something else, something far more important. But she couldn’t bring herself to jibe him so because he looked so hopeful behind his falsely confident exterior. This was not the same Taylor Hanson she had met at the opening of Fuse. This Taylor had absolutely no idea what was going on in his life. This Taylor lacked self-assurance and true confidence. This Taylor needed her to come out to lunch with him, and it was that need that made up her mind.

“I can’t,” she sighed, finishing before he could ask her why again, “I can’t because it would mean more to you than it would to me.” He blanched at her comment and Quin fought back another urge to smooth things over.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, taking a small step back and crossing his arms over his chest. She finished folding the sweater vest before her and went to face him. Because she couldn’t make sense of why he was there or precisely what he wanted, she went with what appeared to be transpiring before her. It was certainly easier than trying to figure out her own feelings on the spot.

“You’re giving me puppy dog eyes, Taylor! I think it’s pretty obvious.”

“I am not giving you… dog eyes,” he said disgustedly before looking hopefully at her again, “I just want to go to lunch with you because I’ve really liked the time we’ve spent together and I want us to get to know each other better.”

“You got me to give in once, Taylor. It’s not happening again.”

“I want to buy you a sandwich, Quin! Jesus Christ! I’m not asking you to marry me, here!” he exclaimed, obviously becoming unhinged at her continued resistance.

“I am not going out to lunch with you because you don’t really want that. I don’t know what you think you want, but I’m not it. I can’t be. I’m forty. I don’t want a boyfriend, I don’t want to date. I don’t have time for either. I own my own business and I do not have the time or energy to spend with an impatient and demanding twenty-three year old! I just can’t do it, Taylor.” He just stood there looking at her with his arms still crossed for several seconds. Then he opened his mouth to speak before his face softened suddenly, as if a realization had just hit him. He took another step backward.

“I don’t want a girlfriend either,” he said softly, speaking almost mechanically while looking at her with unfocused eyes. He paused then, continuing to stare at her, his brain obviously working rapidly to sort out whatever had stopped him from responding to her less-than-positive sentiments. The last three words he spoke came out in a hurried mumble, words he had obviously not meant to speak aloud, but Quin heard them clearly enough, “I want you.” And with that, he practically ran from the store, leaving Quin dumbstruck and Magda shaking her head.

“You are such an idiot,” Magda told her matter-of-factly before continuing to organize the money in the drawer.

Seventeen

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