By the time we managed to make our way back to Hunter’s dorm room, my whole body felt like it was one fire, whether from arousal or suppressed anger I wasn’t sure, but I knew that it needed taken care of soon. I remembered the feeling of his impossibly smooth skin against mine and all of the feelings he elicited throughout the course of the night. I remembered it all, though very drunk I had been, and I hoped that I would be able to admit that I remembered each moment. But when he finally awoke next to me and gave me that killer smile full of hope, I knew that I had to lie. I wasn’t planning on dating him and he was a nice enough guy that he would probably at least take me out on a date after a night of drunken sex. I was no one’s girlfriend. Not then.
“Hey,” he said with a smile as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. Absolutely adorable. I pulled the sheet tight to my chest and looked at him with questioning eyes. In the second it took me to do that, I watched the smile drain from his lips and I felt a twinge of guilt.
“Hi,” I said softly.
“Um, how are you?” he asked, his confusion showing all over his face. I feigned shyness and tucked my hair behind my ears with my free hand.
“I’m okay. I should, um, probably be going.” He nodded and politely turned away while I got up to get dressed. “Where am I, again?” He turned and looked at me and I saw instantly that that little comment had been going too far.
“Jacobs Hall,” he said, swallowing thickly and breaking my gaze. I pulled on my clothes as quickly as I could manage with the headache that was starting to pound in my skull.
“Um, I guess I’ll see you around…” I said.
“Hunter,” he offered, assuming that I’d forgotten his name as well. I didn’t blame him for that assumption, but it still stung a little.
“I remember that.”
“Not much else, though?” he asked. I just gave him a weak smile and nod and then headed for the door. “Goodbye, Cameron.”
“Bye, Hunter.” And with that I freed myself from the suddenly suffocating confines of his small single room.
My headache continued to grow with each step, and I eventually gave up the stylishness of my heels for the less rough step bare feet offered. I almost didn’t notice as my phone began to vibrate inside my purse and it took me much longer than usual to fish it out of the mess inside. I saw “Taylor” flashing across the screen and outwardly groaned. He was so not the person I wanted to talk to. I wished that it had been him last night, no offense to Hunter, but it was the truth. With a sigh I flipped my phone open.
“Hello?”
“Hey Cams. Did you get home okay?”
“Like you care,” I wasn’t in the mood to kiss anyone’s ass, so I let my typical bluntness shine through.
“Are you seriously mad at me because I hooked up with Brooklynn?”
“I seriously don’t want to have this conversation over the phone.”
“Will you please still come to breakfast with me and Zac? He’s pissed at me, too, and yet it’ll still be less awkward if you’re there. We can talk afterwards.”
“Fine.”
“Okay then. Twenty minutes at the IHOP?” I rolled my eyes and changed my direction towards the lot where my car was parked. He knew how much I hated IHOP.
“See you there.” Without waiting for his goodbye I snapped my phone shut.
Taylor didn’t owe me anything, not an explanation or even a night of my own. He didn’t, and yet part of me still expected it. I knew that he wasn’t mine, but I was so in love with him that I couldn’t help but feel as if part of him was mine, because it really felt like it was. I tried to push Taylor from my thoughts, but was only then bombarded with memories from my night with Hunter. Now that brought a smile to my face. My phone started vibrating again, this time with “Sophie” listed on the screen.
“Yes?” I asked.
“And where the hell are you? You know that you’re supposed to at least call so we know you’re not dead somewhere.”
“I’m walking across campus to my car to meet Taylor and Zac for breakfast.”
“And if you weren’t with Taylor or Zac last night then where were you?”
“Off having the best sex of my life,” I replied honestly. It was true. I never would have imagined it, but it really had been.
“With who? Holy shit!”
“Zac’s best friend Hunter. Absolutely precious, so naturally I had to lie to him and tell him that I didn’t remember a thing.”
“Jesus Christ, Cameron. Why are you so petrified of being happy? Why do you have to do shit like that?”
“Because I don’t want him, I want-”
“Do not even say Taylor’s name, so help me god!”
“Sophie, come on, you know how I feel.”
“Yeah, and I also know that he’s not a good person and he will never want you like you want him.”
“Do we have to have this conversation right now like we have it every other day? I have a massive hangover headache a-brewin’ and you screeching in my ear isn’t helping.”
“Fine, but we’re talking later and I want every detail of this amazing sex, including a picture of the guy. So you’d better find one of those, too.” I laughed despite myself.
“Yeah, fine. Lots of details are on the menu for later. I have to go, bye.”
“Bye!” I closed my phone again right as I reached my car. The heat escaped from the now open door and I groaned as I let my weight sink down into the gray fabric. I was really not looking forward to breakfast. I was sure that Zac would have received a phone call from Hunter in the time between my hasty departure and my most-likely late arrival at IHOP. I was not looking forward to it one bit.
My car finally pulled into the parking lot about 25 minutes after I got off the phone with Taylor. I saw his BMW already parked in the lot and I found one of the only available spots left in the lot before making my way into the one place in town that I didn’t like eating breakfast. Taylor and Zac were seated in a corner in the back of the smoking section. A little smile played over Taylor’s lips as he spotted me and I considered turning around and walking right back out.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss I-Have-No-Right-Judging-People-For-Hooking-Up-When-I-Did-The-Same-Damned-Thing,” he said smugly before taking an exaggeratedly long sip of his black coffee.
“I will get up and leave right now, I swear to god,” I said, refusing to meet either of their gazes.
“I think it’s precious, you little cradle-robber you,” Taylor said, shoving an empty coffee cup and the carafe my way.
“One, at least I didn’t get syphilis last night, and two, he’s only one year younger than us, so fuck you.”
“How do you know? Hunter could have syphilis.”
“Hunter doesn’t have syphilis,” Zac interjected.
“How do you know? Have you screwed Hunter recently?” Taylor asked. Zac just rolled his eyes and drank more of his orange juice.
“I said I really didn’t want to talk about this.”
“No, you said that you didn’t want to talk about me and Brooklynn, you never said anything about you and Hunter.”
“And I still don’t want to talk about you and Brooklynn.”
“What’s the big deal. She’s not the first girl I’ve hooked up with, Cams.”
“No, I’m perfectly well aware of that, but she is the first girl you haven’t told me about, which I think is both total bullshit and proof that you don’t even approve of sleeping with her.” Taylor just raised an eyebrow at me and continued to sip his coffee.
“And how did you find out about my past encounters with Brooklynn? Why gee, I only told one person about that, and he’s sitting across from me right now,” he said, shooting a death glare at Zac, “I swear to god, I’m calling Mom and Dad and telling them that I’m sending you home a day early.”
“Why do you insist on calling him Dad! He is not our father!” Zac said loudly and out of the blue, as if he’d been waiting for years to call Taylor out.
“Because he’s been our dad longer than our dad was alive.”
“It’s not Dad’s fault that he got in a car accident.”
“You’re right, and it’s also not Steve’s fault. He’s a good guy and he’s never been anything other than nice and supportive and I don’t know what the fuck your problem is. You can’t even remember Dad. I know that I hardly do, even though I try.” Zac just crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window.
“Well this is sufficiently uncomfortable. I at least need some lousy pancakes in my stomach to make it through,” I said aloud.
“Why do you hate this place so much?” Taylor asked. I just shrugged and slumped back into the plastic booth. I did know why, but I would never tell him. It’s not that I thought that he would judge me, but I just hated having people feel sorry for me. My mom and I had always gone to IHOP for breakfast on Saturday mornings when my dad had to work, and I’ve tried to avoid stepping inside of them ever since she died.
“Did you get back okay last night, Zac?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“Yeah. Chris and Jackson took me with them. It would have been nice to know where you all went, though. When did you and Hunter leave?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” I lied, intently shredding the edge of my napkin.
“So you really don’t remember anything?” he asked and I suddenly felt like I was sitting before the Spanish Inquisition or something. I’m sure Hunter had wanted him to find that out and I knew that I had to keep to my lie or Hunter could get hurt.
“I remember talking to him outside of the party and part of the walk to his place, but everything else….” I drifted off and Zac just nodded. Taylor looked at me questioningly. If anyone could see through this lie, it would be Taylor. He would know that I never blacked out stuff from drinking, but he was a good enough friend to keep his mouth shut. The rest of breakfast went fine, but it was clear that Zac and Taylor were not really okay.
That night we were back at Jake’s house for the weekly Saturday night party, but this time I brought Sophie and Grace along as a buffer. We were sitting and talking in the corner near the bar.
“So it was really good, huh?” Grace asked, obviously living vicariously through me as she sipped at her third tequila sunrise. I just smiled and unnecessarily stirred my drink.
“It was phenomenal. Isn’t it interesting how the least likely of guys are the most amazing in bed? Well, not that Hunter is particularly unlikely, I mean, he’s really good-looking, great body, very nice. You know, just not the type to actually be good at it. But oh, he really was.”
“Then why on earth did you lie to him about not remembering it?” Sophie asked, over-emphasizing every word. Before I had the chance to answer, someone chimed in from behind.
“Yeah, why did you lie to him?” I didn’t have to turn around to know who the owner of the voice was. I just buried my face in my hand and hoped that I would disappear with the three-year-old logic that if you can’t see them, they can’t see you. “Well?”
Finally, I turned around and found myself face to face with a grinning Hunter. The thing that really struck me was how the smile wasn’t smug or assuming, it was just a plain old smile, and for that reason, I decided to be honest with him. “Can we go talk?” I asked. He nodded and we moved over a few feet to an empty corner.
“So, am I going to get the real story now, or should I just eavesdrop some more?” he asked with a smile.
“Look. I’m really sorry. I remember everything from last night and it was… well, it was absolutely amazing. I lied because I assumed that you were a nice guy and that you’d probably ask me out on a date afterward, and I’m just not in the right place for that right now. And when you woke up, I just assumed that you would be that guy as opposed to the guy I was hoping you’d be,” I said more honestly than I had spoken in a long time.
“And what guy is that? Booty call guy?” he laughed.
“Essentially.” The second I heard him say it was the second I realized how awful it must sound.
“Actually, I think that sounds kind of perfect. I mean, you have feelings for Taylor, but I think that we’d be doing ourselves a disservice if we didn’t continue doing what we now know that we can do very well,” he hesitated, “Did that sentence just make any sense at all?” We both burst into laughter and I found myself leaning against the wall next to him.
“I think I underestimated you, Hunter,” I said, seriously now.
“I certainly hope you did.”
“So now what do we do? I’ve never had this kind of arrangement before,” I admitted. He leaned in closely to respond.
“Neither have I. I guess we’ll just figure it out together, huh?” I nodded and looked over at Sophie and Grace who were mouthing “He’s so hot!” to me over and over. I discreetly motioned for them to knock it off.
“Did you want my number?” I asked. He said yes and we exchanged numbers quickly, and then we said our goodbyes. He left that room and I went back to sit with my roommates.
“Oh my god, Cameron! What just happened?”
“I just got my very first no-strings-attached sex guy,” I stated, making sure that I had his number saved in my phone. They shared a knowing look and Grace handed my drink back to me.
“Sex never has no strings attached,” she said. I just smiled and put my phone back in my pocket.
“Yeah, I know.”