You Irritate Me // Pretty Boy (Chapter 4)

“I’m going to die of boredom,” Zac mumbled against his hand, the entire side of his face smashed against his palm. He and Isaac had been waiting for over a half hour for Taylor and Kinsey to make their way downstairs so they could finally head out to the bars. Before Isaac could comment on the improbability of Zac’s statement, they heard the familiar strains of Taylor and Kinsey nagging each other from the top of the stairs.

“Seriously, what the fuck were you doing in there that whole time?” Kinsey demanded, “You knew I needed to get in there and that my flat iron was warming up.”

“I was getting ready! What do you think I was doing?”

“I don’t even want to know!” Kinsey spat, finally beginning her descent just as Zac and Isaac made their way into the hallway. The argument ceased as soon as they realized they were being watched and they started their way down.

“You’re going to wear a coat, right?” Isaac asked, eyeing Kinsey suspiciously as she walked down the stairs.

“What? It’s not that cold outside,” she shrugged, looking down at her low cut v-neck sweater dress. His judging eyes made her tug down the snug bottom of her dress so it covered more of her thighs.

“I told her, but she wouldn’t listen to me,” Taylor said in a sing-song voice, rushing past her down the stairs to stand next to his brothers. Kinsey rolled her eyes and headed for the coat rack where she grabbed her short leather jacket.

“I don’t know,” Zac said, “She’ll probably stay warm with her knee-high hooker boots.” Shooting all of them a glare, Kinsey headed back for the stairs.

“Screw all of you, I’m staying in,” she exclaimed, but found herself moving back towards the door as a hand closed around her elbow and started pulling. She fought off the hold and turned to face her assailant, finding that it was Zac.

“Will you stop being dramatic so we can go get wasted?” he grinned, bouncing up and down like a little kid at the prospect of readily available alcohol. She gave in and followed them silently, only perking up when Zac reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. Kinsey was fully aware of the fact that she could be a grade-A drama queen at times, but she had spent a really long time getting ready and had been excited to wear her new dress and their disapproving looks and mocking comments had done nothing but make her self-conscious. She was just thankful that the place they were headed was supposedly only five blocks away and soon there would be a drink in her system and her self-awareness would be significantly lessened.

“Are you sure you aren’t cold?” Isaac asked her, correcting himself quickly, “I mean, you look nice it’s just freezing out here.”

“I’m fine,” Kinsey sighed, releasing Zac’s hand to rake her hands through her hair. Taylor walked ahead of them smoking a cigarette, obviously disinterested in what was going on behind him. He led the way to the bar, since he’d been the one who had insisted they go out to the bars and therefore had been put in charge of finding a good place. He claimed to have found the perfect place, a little bar close by with a name he “didn’t remember.” He also claimed to know “exactly” where it was, which had happened before and was why Kinsey had decided on her surprisingly comfortable leather boots for the evening. They had spent an entire evening driving around Tulsa one night looking for some record store Taylor had been to that had a rare CD he’d been looking for. Five hours later, they’d finally convinced him that he was obviously a moron and they got him to go home and admit defeat.

“Are you sure this place is in Soho?” Isaac asked, watching Taylor stride confidently, still a few feet ahead of them.

“Yes, Isaac.”

“Well, you can’t blame me for asking given your history with these things,” Isaac said under his breath, annoying Taylor enough make him turn around to glare at him.

“I know where this place is. I walked by it today, so fuck off,” Taylor said dismissively, stopping to stub out his cigarette in an ashtray mounted outside of an apartment building. Kinsey bumped him forcibly as she walked past, her shoulder colliding with his chest. “Wow, slutty and crabby. You’re two for two tonight, Kins.”

“Well I’m sorry, Taylor. I’m not famous, so I actually have to try to get noticed by people.”

“Are you planning on getting laid tonight?” Taylor asked incredulously, falling in step beside her.

“Planning on it? No. Hoping…?” she trailed off.

“Oh god, earmuffs,” Isaac groaned, covering his ears with his hands. She rolled her eyes and kept walking. As a group, they’d never made a habit of discussing the details of their sexual exploits and in fact had made it an unspoken rule ever since Taylor had tried to give them a play-by-play when he’d lost his virginity to some fan when he was sixteen. Kinsey had been particularly mortified by his very graphic admissions and it was that day when she realized that she really was one of the guys to them. She couldn’t help but think that it was why they got so weirded out when she dressed up or showed some cleavage—most of the time they simply forgot she was a girl, or at least that was how it seemed.

“Oh whatever,” Kinsey sighed, zipping up her leather coat against the bitter cold she had severely underestimated. For once true to his word, Taylor did know exactly where the bar was located and they were seated inside at a warm booth in the back with drinks within twenty minutes. Kinsey kept her coat on at first, still feeling a bit self-conscious about its plunging neckline and snug fit, but once the heated air coupled with the strength of her drink hit her, she was plenty hot and ready to take it off.

“Uh-oh! Kinsey’s stripping! Time to cut her off!” Zac laughed.

“I’ve had one drink, please,” Kinsey rolled her eyes.

“She has built up quite the tolerance over the years,” Isaac offered, trying to help her out.

“Yeah, now she usually gets all perverted and horny after five drinks instead of two,” Taylor laughed, “I told you guys, didn’t I? I told you back in the day that she was going to be a horny drunk.”

“I believe your exact words were ‘slutty drunk,’ but close,” she said, remembeingr the first time they’d all drank together like it was yesterday.

It had been 1999 and the guys had been spending a lot of time in the studio getting “This Time Around” together and they were all exhausted and stressed. They had begged their parents to let them just hang out and spend the night together, old-school sleepover style, and their parents had consented under the stipulation that Kinsey end the night sleeping on the couch in the basement, far away from them. Even though they had always just been friends with her, their parents weren’t stupid and knew that letting a fifteen year old girl sleep in the same room with a fourteen, sixteen, and eighteen year old boy was not a good idea, no matter what the circumstances. So, while the guys’ parents were out to dinner and a movie with their younger siblings, they had convinced Kinsey to let them get her drunk, saying that it was safer for her to do it when them than with random people she didn’t know well at one of the parties at school she and Tifani had been getting invited to lately. Assuming that they genuinely had her best interests at heart, she’d agreed, swiping a long forgotten bottle of vodka from the back of her parents’ liquor cabinet to contribute to the evening.

“Ugh. You guys are such a bad influence on me,” Kinsey had groaned, collapsing face first onto Isaac’s bed with a very stuffed backpack still slung over her shoulders.

“What did you bring to add to our night of fun?” Taylor asked, tugging on the pack until Kinsey allowed him to pull it down her arms.

“Condoms and spermicide,” she mumbled into the navy bedspread.

“Planning on getting gangbanged?” he had inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“Preparing for the worst.”

“Don’t worry, we would never do that. That’d be disgusting,” Taylor said to her, tossing her empty backpack onto the bed after it had been emptied of its contents.

“Oh yes, having sex with me would be just disgusting, I’m sure,” she said, rolling over and pushing herself up into a sitting position.

“I meant the three of us having sex in the same room at the same time, but now that you mention it…”

“Just shut up, Taylor. You don’t know what kind of drunk I am yet, I could be mean, so don’t push it.”

“I’ve got ten bucks on slutty drunk,” Taylor had said to Isaac and Zac who were busying themselves organizing the alcohol they had managed to take from their parents.

“Fifteen on crying drunk,” Isaac said. Kinsey’s mouth dropped open.

“Um… do the words ‘best friends’ mean anything to you guys?”

“What? We’re any less of your best friends for saying that you’re probably going to be a slutty crying drunk?” Taylor asked.

“No way… twenty says she’s going to just pass out,” Zac said.

“Let’s just see how I am and quit putting money on it you assholes!” she laughed, “But now that the topic is on the table, how do you guys act when you’re drunk?”

“Quiet,” Isaac said.

“Aggresive… but not in a scary way,” Zac said. Taylor had just smiled at her and began pouring tequila in his glass.

“What are you smiling about?” Kinsey asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

“You’ll see,” he shrugged.

“Oh god, you’re going to rape me aren’t you?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I can control myself, even when I’m drunk.”

“You guys have drank, what, three times before? Don’t act like you’re an expert or something.”

“Okay you two. I made Kinsey her very first alcoholic drink,” Isaac interrupted, handing her a cup. She looked at the orange liquid and sniffed it.

“It smells good, what is it?” she asked, eyeing him.

“An Amaretto Stone Sour. It’s good, you’ll like it.”

“Is it strong?” Taylor asked, snatching the cup out of her hand and taking a sip.

“Get your diseased lips off of my cup, please!”

“Diseased? Not so much. Just because I’m not a virgin anymore doesn’t mean I have STDs.” Kinsey made a disgusted face and attempted to cover her ears with her free hand and her other shoulder.

“I don’t want to hear about that! I told you already!” Taylor just shook his head and downed the shot of tequila he had poured himself.

“Are you going to try it or are you and Taylor just going to bitch at each other all night?” Isaac asked.

“Sorry Ike. Well, here goes!” she said, taking a long sip of the liquid, “Whoa… are you sure there’s alcohol in this?” Isaac laughed.

Trust me, there is.”

“Kinsey, do a shot with me,” Zac said a few minutes later, pouring some red liquid into a clean cup and putting it in Kinsey’s hand. She shrugged, tapped her glass against Zac’s and downed the liquid. Her face immediately screwed up and she coughed.

“God, it tastes like Nyquil!” she exclaimed, taking a sip of her own drink to wash away the taste.

“Good call chasing your shot with more alcohol, dumbass,” Taylor said, laying down on the floor on his side and propping himself up with his elbow.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, remember blondie?”

“You’re blonde, too! God, are you drunk already?” he laughed.

“I’m feeling a little something…” she said. Taylor reached for the bottle of tequila and poured more into his cup.

“Do a shot with me, Kinsey,” he said.

“Is it going to be as gross as that last one?” she asked, sipping on her drink as she watched him pour some of the yellow liquid into her other glass.

“No, tequila is good, trust me.”

“I never trust you.”

“Then start. Cheers,” he said, tapping his glass against hers and taking his shot. Kinsey took hers hesitantly, but sighed with relief afterwards.

“That was good, let’s do another one.” All three guys laughed at her.

“You should probably take it easy, kiddo,” Isaac said.

“I can take care of myself, Isaac, I’m fifteen years old and if I want to do another shot with pretty boy over here, then I can, okay?” she asked, the alcohol clearly beginning to affect her. Isaac threw up his hands.

“Damn Taylor, now I know how you must feel all the time,” he laughed.

“Yes, welcome to my world. And don’t call me Pretty Boy anymore,” he said, lightly kicking Kinsey’s leg. She gasped at the contact.

“Don’t kick me! And hey, I just call it like I see it. I can’t help it that you’re just so pretty,” she laughed, pinching his cheek.

“I think we’ve got a champ on our hands here, guys,” Zac said as Kinsey poured herself another shot of the tequila.

“Either that or we have a pending puke-fest,” Isaac said. Kinsey had finished it and then set down her cups, leaning back against Isaac’s bed as they sat and chatted for awhile. After awhile, she had started to feel her skin flush, the suddenness of the sensation freaking her out a bit.

“I feel really hot,” she said, pulling down on the neck of her shirt, “Is it hot in here?”

“No, not really,” Zac laughed.

“Then why am I so hot? My cheeks are on fire,” she said, pressing her hands to her face.

“Because you’re drunk,” Taylor said.

“I am not drunk! I’m…” she said, her voice drifting away. When she had realized what she’d almost said, she put her hand over her mouth. “I’m… no! No I’m not.”

“You’re not what?” Taylor asked, knowing full well that he had just won the bet.

“I can’t tell you! Geez… let me be…” she said, finally opening her eyes and looking at him.

“Hey, do you two want to do a shot?” Isaac asked Taylor and Zac.

“Better make it a double so we can catch up with drunkie over there,” Taylor said, looking at Kinsey who was singing the refrain of “Mmmbop” and laughing. Isaac filled their glasses with the right amount and the all tapped their glasses to the toast of ‘To getting Kinsey wasted!'”

“That was a great night,” Isaac laughed.

“Not really,” Kinsey shook her head, trying to rid the rest of the night’s events from her brain.

“Why? Because you spent most of the early morning hours puking into a garbage can?” Taylor asked.

“No, because Zac mauled me, remember?” Kinsey asked and Taylor and Isaac cracked up, leaving Zac red-faced and grumbling into his beer.

“I didn’t maul you,” he stated.

“You totally did,” Isaac laughed, “One minute, we’re all sitting there talking. The next minute, you put your arm around her. The next minute, you were trying to kiss her.”

“Trying to kiss her? I totally kissed her!” Zac said, nudging Kinsey with his elbow playfully, “Didn’t I?”

“Yes, before I could react you sadly became the first boy to ever put his tongue in my mouth. Thanks so much.”

“I didn’t know that happened! I thought you said he didn’t kiss you!” Isaac said.

“Um, I lied. And we had never talked about that situation until today, thankfully.” Kinsey crinkled up her nose and finished off the last of her drink.

“Oh don’t act like it was that bad, kissing me,” Zac smiled, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Zac! You just shoved your tongue in my mouth. It wasn’t like I was even asked or given the opportunity to think anything other than “Gah! Tongue!”” Kinsey laughed.

“You want another drink?” Taylor asked abruptly, taking Kinsey’s glass from her hand and leaving the table once she’d nodded in agreement.

“What was that all about?” Isaac asked, still laughing lightly.

“Probably forgot to take his Midol. I don’t know,” Zac shrugged, removing his arm from Kinsey’s shoulder. Kinsey looked to the bar and saw Taylor chatting idly with the girl next to him, assuming that it would be a good thirty minutes before she got her drink. She just hoped it wasn’t another fan. The thought of waking up with some strange girl in her bathroom trying to steal Taylor’s toothbrush or something was not something she wanted to experience. However, he surprised all of them by coming back just a few minutes later.

“She looked pretty hot, Tay. Did she have crazy eyes or something?” Isaac asked, wondering himself why Taylor had given up talking to her after only a few minutes.

“She gave me her number, but was out with a friend for a bachelorette party. I’m supposed to call her. Yeah right,” Taylor rolled his eyes, sliding Kinsey’s drink across the table to her.

“If she didn’t want to bang you tonight, there’s just no point, right?” Kinsey laughed.

“Exactly!” Taylor said. And with that, they got back to their drinking.

Four hours later, Kinsey found herself maneuvering the streets back home with Taylor. Isaac had left them an hour earlier and Zac was still talking to some girl at the bar so Kinsey was left looking for their building with Taylor who still couldn’t find a Walgreens in Tulsa even though he’d lived there most of his life.

“Ooo! I think that’s it!” Kinsey said loudly, immediately covering her mouth with her hand.

“You’re so loud,” Taylor sighed, “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Nope!” she said, perching on her toes to shout the word directly in his ear as he tried to unlock the door to their building. He mumbled something under his breath before shoving the door open. He looked back at her, her mouth moving a million miles a minute, likely annoying everyone on the block.

“Come on, Chatty Kathy. Your breath reeks of vodka and you need to brush your teeth,” he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her inside.

“Yeah?” she asked, breathing directly in his face, “You think whiskey smells better?” He ignored her again and didn’t let go of her wrist. Once he had her safely inside their condo and upstairs to their bathroom, they both started to get their nighttime routines in motion. Or at least they tried. Kinsey was staring at her toothbrush and toothpaste like it was a cryptic puzzle.

“You do remember how to brush your teeth, right?” Taylor asked.

“I’m dizzy,” Kinsey said, ignoring his smartass question and grabbing for the edge of the counter, her tooth brushing items still clenched in her hands.

“Whoa. Why don’t you sit down?” Taylor asked, taking her by the shoulders and directing her to the closed toilet lid where he guided her to a sitting position.

“Yeah, sitting down sounds good,” Kinsey mumbled, still holding onto her toothbrush, her toothpaste now lying forgotten on the tile floor.

“You’re already sitting, Kins,” Taylor laughed.

“Oh. Good.” He watched as she leaned over to lay her face against the cool black marble countertop. “My face is hot. Why is my face so hot?”

“Because you’re wasted!” he said goofily, his own toothbrush hanging from the corner of his mouth. He picked up her toothpaste and put some on her brush before guiding it towards her mouth. “You’ll feel better if you brush your teeth, I promise. Stand up when you can and do that, okay?” She nodded and hauled herself to her feet, leaning farther over the sink than she needed to in order to accomplish the task. She didn’t know why she felt so sick all of a sudden. She’d felt fine the entire walk back from the bar, but it was like all of the liquor she’d consumed had hit her all at once as soon as they’d gotten upstairs. It took everything in her to fight the desire to throw up, because the last thing she wanted to do was puke in front of Taylor. She’d done that once, that first night they’d all drank together, and had vowed to never repeat that experience.

Once she’d decided that her teeth were clean enough, she started to her room, only stumbling a few times along the way.

“How much did I drink?” she asked no one in particular, but was surprised to hear Taylor respond.

“At least six drinks that I saw. Oh, and one shot with Zac. Bad girl,” he laughed, “Are you wearing that to bed?”

“Nope,” she said, pulling the dress over her head and dropping it to the floor, almost managing to trip over it before climbing under the covers with her boots still on.

“Did you seriously just take your dress off in front of me?” Taylor asked, shaking his head at her.

“Yup, and I’ll worry about that tomorrow, Pretty Boy. Now get out of my room,” she said, her eyes already closed against the spinning room.

“Call me that again and I’ll kill you.”

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Kinsey mumbled sarcastically before falling asleep almost as soon as Taylor turned off her lights on his way out.

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