Kinsey made her way downstairs with Taylor at half past nine the next morning to find her parents seated at the kitchen table drinking coffee and eating eggs and toast.
“Good morning,” Jennifer said with a little smile while Kinsey’s dad just grunted in acknowledgment without taking his eyes off of the sports page in front of him. Kinsey looked at Taylor and shook her head lightly before walking him to the front door.
“We’ll be here to pick you up at noon,” he told her, “Mom’s going to drive us.” She nodded and gave him a kiss.
“Are you sure we can’t just run away?” she asked him softly. He kissed her again before tapping her lightly on the nose with the tip of his index finger.
“Noon,” he repeated before pulling open the door and leaving. She sighed and went to join her parents.
“Are you excited to get back to New York?” her mom asked once Kinsey had gotten herself some food.
“Not really,” Kinsey responded blandly before taking an aggressive bite of her toast with red raspberry preserves.
“You and Zac still haven’t made up?”
“Made up? Are you kidding me, Mom?”
“Well, I thought when you two went outside to talk…”
“All he did was tell me all the reasons why I shouldn’t be with Taylor. And he made sure to tell me that he wasn’t sorry for anything that he had said while being a drunken jackass on Thursday night. So no, we haven’t made up. Not even close,” she spat, throwing the toast to her plate.
“I just don’t know what’s gotten into him,” Jennifer said thoughtfully, “He was always such a happy person. He must be feeling very threatened.”
“Oh he sure is,” Kinsey sighed.
“Well, he just needs to get over himself,” Anthony said abruptly. Kinsey smiled at her dad.
“I’m with you,” she said, extending her glass of orange juice towards him, waiting for him to tap his cup of coffee against it, which he eventually did with a little smile.
“You’ll forgive him,” her mom told her.
“Not bloody likely,” Kinsey grumbled under her breath, but didn’t bother to argue the point further. They finished their breakfast talking about Isaac and Tif’s wedding before Kinsey retreated upstairs to pack up her things and take a shower.
She had just finished putting a sandwich and some chips into Ziploc bags for their wait in the airport when the doorbell rang.
“Have a good flight,” her mom said, giving her a tight hug and a kiss on the top of her head, “Call us when you land.”
“Love you. We’ll see you at Christmas,” her dad said before giving her a hug as well.
“Thanks for everything. And sorry about… well, you know,” Kinsey said, not exactly sure why she was apologizing for Zac’s stupid behavior. But, since his stupid behavior had led to some graphic revelations about Taylor and Kinsey’s relationship, she did feel the need to say something. Anything was better than nothing.
“You can’t control Zac’s mouth,” her mom said.
“Even though we wish you could,” her dad chimed in.
“Yeah, I know,” Kinsey said before heading for the front door as the doorbell rang again, “I’m coming, I’m coming.” When she opened the door, she found Taylor standing on the front mat looking impatient.
“Hello,” she said looking down as he took her suitcase from her hands.
“Took you long enough,” he said grumpily.
“Oh well forgive me for wanting to give my parents a hug goodbye,” she spat, pushing past him to walk first down the sidewalk. She felt his hand close lightly over her elbow and he pulled her back to him gently.
“Look, I’m sorry. Things have been really tense this morning and I’m just freaking out a little. Okay?”
“Yeah, just don’t take it out on me,” she said, trying to sound understanding while also letting him know that she wasn’t going to let him take his bad mood out on her. Especially not when she was likely going to be thrust into one herself as soon as she sat down in the vehicle parked down at the end of the driveway. They walked side-by-side until Taylor went to put her suitcase in the back. She opened the back door and climbed into the position that would sandwich her between Isaac and Taylor for the ride to the airport. Their mom was in the driver’s seat talking to Zac, who didn’t say a word to her when she got in. Kinsey supposed she was glad he hadn’t, but it still felt strange. Isaac gave her knee a pat as she buckled her seatbelt. She knew that he was giving her a reassuring smile, but she couldn’t bear to look over at him. Instead, she just waited until Taylor slid in next to her, his warm leg against hers. She felt herself melt against the heat, letting her body lean in his direction until her arm was pressed against his as well. They rode to the airport in silence save the inane banter and terribly average music played on the radio. Once they had pulled up in front of the Tulsa International Airport, they silently gathered their belongings before giving Diana hugs and kisses goodbye.
“You all take care of yourselves. Fix whatever’s wrong and do it soon. It breaks my heart seeing you all this way,” she said sincerely and Kinsey looked over at Zac to find him looking at the sliding doors as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
“We should get going,” he said before hugging his mom again and heading off towards the airport.
“Bye,” Kinsey waved, walking with Taylor and Isaac behind Zac, keeping a safe distance behind him as he obviously didn’t want their company.
The flight was okay since Kinsey slept through most of it, dozing on and off while a romantic comedy too average to note played on the TV screen. She sat beside Taylor while Isaac took the seat across the aisle beside Zac. As Kinsey drifted in and out of consciousness, she could hear them whispering across the aisle. Though she desperately wanted to know what they were talking about, she couldn’t keep her eyes open and hoped that Taylor was listening in so she could ask him about it later. The four hour flight went by quickly and another silent cab ride got them back to their condo.
“Home sweet home,” Kinsey said glumly as Zac immediately went up the stairs once the door was open. She, Taylor, and Isaac made their way into the kitchen to sort through the mail and to make a quick dinner.
“Another birthday card for you. Mr. Popularity over here,” Kinsey teased as she flicked a yellow envelope Isaac’s way.
“Does it have money in it?” Taylor asked with a mouthful of leftover pizza. Kinsey frowned at him and put a hand over his mouth.
“One, ew. Two, what does it matter if it does? It’s Isaac’s,” she said.
“I was just asking,” Taylor rolled his eyes before shoving another sausage and mushroom laden bite in his mouth.
“You’re not kissing me tonight. Not with mushroom breath,” Kinsey informed him.
“Oh no?” he asked, setting the slice back down on his plate.
“Nope,” she told him, now distracted by her cell phone bill. Before she could do anything about it, he had turned her face towards him and kissed her deeply, prompting her to immediately forget about her hatred for the taste of mushrooms. When he pulled back she forced herself back into reality, “Jackass.”
“Still hate mushrooms?” he smirked, going back to the counter to retrieve his plate.
“More than ever,” she told him, blushing lightly as she caught the shocked look on Isaac’s face as she turned her attention back to the bill in her hands.
“Oh my god,” Isaac mumbled into his hands.
“What?” Taylor asked innocently.
“You know what,” Isaac laughed, “So how would you two feel about Tif moving in here for awhile. Just until we find a place of our own.” Taylor stopped chewing and looked back and forth rapidly between Kinsey and Isaac. Kinsey knew right then that Isaac hadn’t broached the subject of Tif moving to New York with his brothers at all.
“You’re leaving?” Taylor asked.
“Eventually. Tif is moving here sometime before Christmas, but we know that it might take us awhile to find the perfect place. So, I was hoping that it would be okay with you guys if she stayed here until we do.”
“Of course it’s fine,” Kinsey told him, “It’d be great to have another girl around, even if it is just for a little while.”
“Why can’t you guys just live here?” Taylor asked.
“We’re getting married, Taylor. No offense, but I don’t want to live with you guys when we’re married,” Isaac said.
“But you’re not married yet!”
“Taylor, please don’t pretend that you want us to stay here. I know that this is only because you don’t want us to leave you alone with Zac.”
“Of course I don’t!” Taylor exclaimed, but immediately calmed down when he saw the concerned look that had taken over Isaac’s face, “But, I mean, I understand… I guess.”
“This couldn’t last forever,” Kinsey said, “Though it would certainly be interesting.” She had to laugh just thinking about the madness that could ensue with all of them living together, especially if Zac got a woman in his life. For longer than a night, that was. Once she had eaten a slice of pizza sans mushrooms, she and Taylor headed upstairs to leave Isaac to open and read his birthday cards in peace. When they turned to walk down the hallway that lead to their rooms and bathroom, a bright yellow Post-It note stuck to Kinsey’s door immediately drew their attention.
“What the hell?” she muttered, though she obviously knew who it was from. As she reached the door, she pulled it off and read Zac’s messy handwriting:
“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.”
Lynn Johnston
Kinsey just glared at the note, hardly noticing as Taylor pulled it from her fingers as she stormed into her room and pulled open her laptop. Once it had woken up and she’d logged on, she immediately went to her favorite quote website and found the perfect rebuttal. With Taylor watching from behind, she grabbed a pack of similarly colored Post-Its from her desk drawer and wrote back, not caring that her handwriting had diverged from its usual readable script to an angry looking scrawl.
“The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.”
Red Auerbach
Once she had finished writing, she stomped down the hallway, slapping the note harshly onto Zac’s closed door before going back into her room and shutting the door. Taylor sat on her bed looking amused.
“Ugh!” Kinsey huffed, “I know that I should be happy that he’s trying, but he’s still being such a dick about it. That wasn’t an apology. That was him telling me what an apology can do. I am well aware of what an apology can do, but he apparently can’t give me one!”
“He’s an idiot, Kinsey. He’s my brother and despite everything I still love him. But he’s an idiot and always has been. I don’t know why it took you so long to see it.”
“Well, he’s never been an idiot to me before,” she sighed, sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed.
“Do you need some cheering up?” he asked with a smile.
“Now?” Kinsey asked, almost groaning. Taylor raised an eyebrow at her and she felt him sit up straighter.
“I guess not,” he said, a definite touch of annoyance to his voice. She snaked an arm around his back and pulled him to her, placing a kiss to his set jaw.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m just stressed and feel gross from being on the airplane.” He turned his face towards her and smiled.
“Then lets go take a shower,” he grinned, pulling her up with him as he stood, “I’ll help you wash those… hard to reach places.”
“That was the most pathetic attempt at perversion I’ve ever heard,” she laughed as he lead her out the door and into the bathroom, kicking the door closed with his foot as he kissed her.
“Whatever. It got you hot anyway,” he smirked.
“Did not,” she scoffed.
“Let’s see about that,” he said, locking the door before unzipping her jeans.
An hour and all of the hot water in the condo later, Kinsey emerged red-faced from the bathroom.
“Feel better?” Taylor asked, pausing outside her door.
“Better? Yes. Cleaner? No,” she laughed.
“I know I’ll never look at that showerhead the same way again,” he teased as she turned fully crimson.
“Shut up,” she scolded him through clenched teeth, hoping with everything in her that Isaac or Zac weren’t anywhere in hearing range. Before they could finish their conversation, however, they both noticed that another Post-It had appeared on Kinsey’s door. “God damn it.” She huffed and disappeared into her room without so much as a goodbye to Taylor. He peeked his head in the door.
“What does this one say?” he asked. Kinsey sighed and read.
“It says: ’Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.’ by Margaret Lee Runbeck. What about writing one that says ’I’m sorry that I’m a giant flaming assbag.’ by Zac Hanson? What about that?” she asked, immediately pulling up the quotes page from her Internet Explorer history. Once she had her retaliatory comment written down, she went and placed it on Zac’s door with more force than last time. This one said:
”A stiff apology is a second insult…. The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”
G.K. Chesterton
“Frigging assbag,” Kinsey muttered as she reentered her room, noticing that Taylor was still lingering in the hallway.
“Amazing,” he said, his eyes not leaving the bright yellow paper stuck to his index finger, “That one little sentence can ruin an entire wonderful hour in the shower. Amazing.” And with that, he stuck the note back on Kinsey’s door and went into his bedroom, shutting her out before she had the chance to defend herself.
“Fuck fuck fuck!” she said to herself, running her fingers through her recently blow-dried hair and wanting to cry. What the hell was she doing? She was letting her anger at Zac affect her relationship with Taylor. And her relationship with Taylor had caused her to be angry with Zac in the first place. So, if she focused on the problem with Zac, it would obviously affect her relationship with Taylor to some degree. And if she continued to be in a relationship with Taylor without making up with Zac, it was obviously never going to get better between the two of them. “Talk about a Catch-22.”
“Everything okay?” Isaac asked from the doorway before his attention was drawn to the note on the door, “What’s this?”
“Zac’s third attempt to make nice. The second is this,” she said, holding up the first note.
“And what was the first? When he came over to talk to you at your parents’ house?” he asked as he came into her room. Kinsey nodded.
“Yeah, but the funny thing is that in all of these he’s talking about apologies, but he hasn’t actually given me one.”
“Maybe this is the only way he knows how,” Isaac said hesitantly, “Kinsey, you and Zac have never fought before. I’m not defending him or how he’s handling it, but I think he honestly just doesn’t know what to do. He’s too proud to admit that what he did was wrong, but he doesn’t want to lose your friendship. I know that for a fact. And he’s going to keep doing stuff like this until you talk to him.”
“He can use all the Post-It notes in the world, but that’s not going to solve any problems,” Kinsey said and as she did, she noticed that Zac was sneaking down the hallway, so she just ignored him and continued on since she was sure he hadn’t seen her look his way, “It’s going to take a lot more than that to fix this.” When she looked over again he was gone, but a new sticky note was in the middle of her door. Isaac headed over to grab it and gave out a bitter little laugh when he read it.
“Do I even want to read it?” she asked from her position at her computer desk. He wordlessly brought it over and handed it to her.
”Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
Paul Boese
“Rich, huh?” Isaac asked, putting his hand on Kinsey’s shoulder, “He’s not going to give up until it’s been resolved.”
“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, reaching up to pat his hand as it gave her shoulder a squeeze.
“I’m going to make drinks. I’m thinking martinis. Interested?” he said as he backed out of the room.
“Maybe in a little bit,” she said, feeling suddenly very tired. He nodded and closed her door on his way out, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She mindlessly wrote out her response and stuck it to the middle of her computer screen while she mustered up the courage to deliver it. It was the most true statement she had found so far to describe her feelings.
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.”
Unknown
When she forgave Zac, she would be giving him a Get Out Of Guilt Free card and she just wasn’t ready to do that. She had spent so many hours worrying about how he and Isaac would react when they found out about herself and Taylor, and his childish behavior had far exceeded her worst nightmares. And she had to be honest and admit that she had always thought that if one of them was going to heinously overreact, it would have been Isaac. And rightly so, given the way Taylor had reacted to finding out about Isaac and Tif’s secret relationship. The one that had resulted in an engagement just two months after the big reveal. She knew that she and Taylor were far from that kind of commitment. And even if they were ready, she knew that it wouldn’t happen under these circumstances. Not with people not speaking to each other. Not with all of the bitterness and frustration.
And, especially not now that Taylor was irritated with her. She stood with a sigh and headed for Zac’s room, finding his door open a crack. A week ago, she would have gone in and talked to him, but now she just softly pushed the sticky part of the paper to his door and left without giving the inside of the room a look.
As she walked slowly down the hallway, she could feel herself giving in. She wanted to go make up with Zac, but not as much as she wanted to make up with Taylor. So, she went to his door and opened it without knocking. Inside she found him laying on his bed, his suitcase half unpacked but now abandoned in the middle of the floor. She stepped around it and went to him, laying down beside him and putting her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I just feel so lost.”
“I’m not asking you to give up on his friendship, Kinsey,” Taylor told her softly, “I’m just asking that you don’t get so consumed with being angry at him that you forget about us.”
“I won’t,” she told him, placing a kiss to his t-shirt covered chest before snuggling into his side.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”