Kinsey felt a surge of stomach bile appear at the back of her throat and she choked it down, stepping backward until she hit the edge of the counter. Having it there felt good, like it would hold her up if she needed it to. Her fingers made their way to its edge, grasping until her knuckles turned white.
Zac knew. Hell, Zac had seen the pictures and video; the naked and incredibly sexual pictures and video. Her body tried again to vomit, but she didn’t let herself. She did, however, allow herself to look at Taylor who was looking hard at Zac.
“Tell him,” she heard Zac tell Taylor and she felt her eyes clamp shut. She and Taylor had agreed to tell the guys before they went to Tulsa. That morning, they had made plans to do it over dinner and had planned out every detail. Not a nanosecond of it went like this. This wasn’t how they were supposed to find out because they wanted Isaac and Zac to know that it was about more than just sex. When Zac had found those pictures, she knew that he wouldn’t have thought there was anything more between them that just the physical. Kinsey dared to look at Zac and found him red-faced and totally furious.
Taylor looked over at her, his eyes questioning. He wanted to know if it was okay to tell them. Part of Kinsey wanted to shake her head, to tell him to just keep denying, but it was too late for that now. They had tempted fate and played the game for too long and now they were caught. So, she nodded ever so slightly and Taylor took a deep breath.
“What do you want me to say, Zac?” Taylor asked, sounding tired.
“Try fucking explaining yourself. Explain what I saw!”
“How did you see it anyway?” Taylor countered and Kinsey suddenly realized that she wanted to know the same thing. Taylor had sworn to her that the pictures were somewhere they would never be found, that he had password protected them on his computer and deleted them from the memory card. And that he had checked about fifty times to make sure that they were erased from said card.
“I thought I would work on the website while you were all out since we wanted to update it before we left,” Zac told him.
“My computer is password protected,” Taylor interrupted.
“Yeah, I know. I figured out your password. And when I did was laughing to myself because it was so funny, the absolute last thing I could imagine your password being. But now it makes perfect sense,” Zac spat.
“What’s his password?” Isaac asked, his curiosity obviously getting the best of him even though no one had clued him in to much as of yet.
“Kinsey,” Zac stated. Kinsey felt her heart flutter when Zac revealed that piece of information.
“My name is your password?” she asked Taylor, Zac and Isaac suddenly fading into obscurity in her mind as she looked adoringly at him. It felt so stupid and girly, but knowing that he had made her name his password said something. She wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but she knew that it was more than just a word he was sure his brothers wouldn’t guess.
“Yeah,” he told her, trying to brush it off, but allowing the corner of his mouth to tug up in a smile. Zac looked back and forth between them before throwing up his hands.
“Oh my god, stop!” he demanded.
“Someone tell me what is going on right now!” Isaac shouted, going into full Dad mode.
“As I was saying, I figured out Taylor’s password so I could get the pictures Kinsey took of us in the studio last night. I had already checked the camera and the memory card was empty. I looked in the Recent Documents folder, assuming that they would be there, but I found a bunch of pictures of Kinsey in lingerie instead.”
“And why did you look at them, you fucking pervert?” Taylor asked.
“Because I was in shock! I had no idea why they would be on your computer! At first I thought you hacked them off her computer or something. Until I figured out they were taken in your bedroom, that is.” Kinsey stood there watching this exchange, unable to think of anything besides the fact that if Zac had seen the pictures and the video, he had seen her topless. Uncomfortable to the point of near hysteria, she crossed her arms protectively over her chest, her hands clutching onto her shoulders. “Kinsey…” Zac said apologetically, opening his mouth to continue.
“Don’t,” she told him, “And don’t look at me. Just… don’t.” In the last week she had been so exposed in so many ways. Zac and Isaac had seen her in the lingerie and now this? She felt naked just standing there fully clothed in her suit from the day. She swore she could feel eyes on her, so she continued her protective stance and backed herself farther into the corner of the counter.
“And why were you looking at that stuff? The second you saw what they were you should have clicked out of it and left the room,” Taylor said, taking an aggressive step forward.
“I am not the bad guy here! You two have been sleeping together and didn’t tell us!”
“Isaac and Tifani slept together and didn’t tell us,” Taylor defended, looking over at Kinsey. She wanted to give him a supportive look, but couldn’t. The way Zac kept looking angrily at her wasn’t helping her nausea subside and it was all she could do to keep her cool.
“Yeah, I know. But eventually they were in relationship. They care about each other.”
“Zac,” Taylor sighed, “Kinsey and I care about each other, too. A lot.” Isaac took a step forward, bringing himself closer into the conversation.
“No. You are not going to sit here and act like it’s the same thing, because it isn’t. How long has it been going on?” he asked.
“Since my birthday,” Kinsey managed.
“Oh! So you two slept together the night before you turned into a giant asshole when Tif and I told you about us. Classic!”
“The irony isn’t lost on us, Ike, trust me. And at that point, it had just happened drunkenly the one time,” Taylor explained calmly.
“Don’t act like we’re just supposed to accept this as any other random drunken hook-up. It’s you two! How the hell did it even happen?” Zac asked.
“Do you need a diagram?” Taylor drawled.
“Fuck you, Taylor! Do not make jokes right now, this isn’t funny!”
“I don’t see what you two are getting so pissed off about. I mean, I understand that the idea of us being together is going to take some getting used to, but Zac, you look like you’re going to stroke out!” Taylor said.
“We’re getting pissed off because this was happening down the hall for almost two months! Has it been happening regularly?” Isaac asked. Zac snorted.
“You bet your ass it has been. Apparently a lot from the conversation they had on the video.”
“Do not talk about the video. It is none of your damned business,” Taylor said, finishing the statement through gritted teeth while taking a predatory step towards Zac who refused to back down.
“Zac shouldn’t have looked at that stuff, but I’m kind of glad that he did because we finally got brought into the loop about what was going on under our roof. Tif and I snuck around, but not right under everyone’s noses.”
“Oh, so I guess that makes it okay, then,” Taylor rolled his eyes.
“Well, that and the fact that everyone around us hadn’t been forced to endure our never ending bitching for the past decade,” Isaac exclaimed, “And so, the fight TMZ caught in the alley, that was real, wasn’t it? Oh, and so was the big kiss for the paparazzi. And I’ll bet that you two thought it was just hilarious that we all thought you two would be miserable the entire time we were in Tulsa.”
“Miserable my ass,” Zac grumbled.
“The difference,” Isaac continued without giving Taylor or Kinsey the chance to defend themselves, leaving both of them opened mouthed and irritated, “is that no one was surprised that Tif and I got together. We make sense. We aren’t the human equivalent of oil and water.”
“The more time Kinsey and I spent together, the more we realized that there was something there beyond the sex. And we kind of came to the conclusion that there might really be something there when we had that whole weekend together. We were going to tell you guys the night you came back, but all you could do was go on and on about how funny it had been to get our parents going about how Kinsey and I were supposedly a couple and we just couldn’t do it.”
“There you go again, trying to turn this around and make it our problem. You just can not accept blame for anything, Taylor!” Isaac ranted, “You two severely abused our trust and messed with our heads and somehow we’re supposed to feel guilty?”
“Hey, come on guys. Taylor’s not the only one involved in this,” Kinsey said, wanting more than anything for them to stop fighting.
“She’s defending him now,” Zac muttered under his breath.
“I’m standing right here,” Kinsey stated sternly, but Zac just looked in her direction and shook his head.
“Yeah I know. And trust me, you do not want me to get started on you right now,” Zac told her, his voice full of disdain and his eyes unable to look directly at her as he spoke. Kinsey visibly blanched from his words, having never heard him speak to her that way in their entire lives.
“Okay. This is ridiculous,” Taylor said, stepping forward to grab Kinsey’s hand and pull her towards the door, “We wanted to talk to you guys about this, but apparently that’s out of the question. We’ll see you in Tulsa.” And with that, they grabbed their suitcases and headed for the airport. They were able to trade in their tickets for ones on an earlier flight, and though they had to sit apart, it was okay. Kinsey was happy to have the time alone to think about the atrocity that had been that conversation. They had wanted the night to be so different; maybe not one of full acceptance, but at least one where they would listen.
The taxi they had taken from the airport pulled up in front of the Jackson house and Kinsey turned in her seat towards Taylor.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you tonight?” he asked her, reaching over to smooth his hand over her hair. She nodded, leaning her head into his touch.
“I’m just going to crash anyway and we both need to talk to our parents, and I think we should do it alone,” Kinsey told him. He leaned forward and kissed her.
“We’re going to be okay, right?” he whispered, pulling back and resting his forehead against hers.
“We’ll be okay no matter what. I just wish I could say the same for your brothers…” Kinsey sighed.
“They should get over it eventually and if not… they’re assholes.”
“I think we’re kind of the assholes in this situation,” Kinsey said.
“I think we’re usually the assholes. Aren’t we?” he smiled, kissing her again, “Sleep well. I’ll be over in the morning.” She nodded, reaching for the door handle and hesitating, feeling words flood to her tongue. Her body and mind were so exhausted she almost let herself say them, but instead she just told him goodbye. As she trudged up the front walk, she didn’t even feel the cold winter air biting against her exposed skin, nor did she notice the weight of the suitcase she was lugging. All she could see was her mom standing in the doorway waiting for her.
When they had landed, they had each called their parents quickly to let them know that they had come home early, but both had refused to explain beyond that.
“Kinsey, what’s going on?” her mom asked when Kinsey had stepped onto the porch. Kinsey just shrugged and looked up pathetically at her mother because she honestly had no idea what to say or where to begin.
“I need to talk to you,” Kinsey told her, intending to sound strong but starting to cry halfway through the sentence, dropping her suitcase to the porch and covering her face in her hands. Her mom immediately came to the rescue, scooping up the suitcase in one hand and ushering her inside with the other.
“Did you and Taylor have a fight?” her mom asked, prompting Kinsey to start crying even harder which of course gave her mom the wrong impression, “Well, with how you two have always been with each other, it’s not a surprise that you’re going to-“
“Mom, I didn’t have a fight with Taylor.” Kinsey forced herself to get composed and took off her coat, shoving it in the coat closet by the door before following her mom into the kitchen. When she reached the threshold, she was shocked and yet relieved to find Brenna sitting at the table. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Mom called right after you called her and said she thought it might be a good idea if I was here. Looks like she was right,” Brenna told her, reaching up to wipe some of Kinsey’s smudged makeup from her cheeks. Kinsey nodded and plopped down in the chair next to her. Their mom brought Kinsey a bottle of water before sitting down at the table across from them.
“Okay, so what’s going on. Why did you and Taylor come back early?” her mom asked. Kinsey looked around nervously, “Your dad is out with Walker and some of their other friends.” Her mother had an uncanny mind-reading talent that usually annoyed Kinsey, but tonight, the comment had been just what she needed to hear. She was close enough to her mother to tell her the whole story, but was positive she couldn’t do the same knowing that her dad was lurking somewhere in the house. It just wasn’t the kind of story a dad would want to hear about his daughter.
“Mom, Taylor and I aren’t dating and we never have been. We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t believe us. We understand why you won’t, though, because over the years lots of people have thought that we had feelings for each other in one way or another. Pretty much everyone except for us, apparently,” she started, taking a deep breath before getting into the more sensitive subject matters, “Taylor gave me a really thoughtful birthday present, and it shocked me because he usually gets me such stupid crap. So I went to ask him about it and somehow, he wound up kissing me and we slept together. Naturally, we were pretty weirded out that it happened, but then it happened again, and again until he finally suggested that we make a bit of an arrangement. We knew that Isaac and Zac wouldn’t understand and we knew that it was messed up, just sleeping together whenever we wanted to. And at first it was weird because it was Taylor and it just felt strange to have some kind of association with him that wasn’t just arguing.
“And then he had to go and do something stupid at that club the night TMZ got pictures of us which led to our fight in the alley. When I shouted at him that I was glad it was over, it was because I had just told him that we couldn’t sleep together any more. But then the phone calls from you guys started pouring in and I talked to Brenna and we found out that there were all of these people who had been seeing something between us for so long and it made us think. And somehow, things started to change. We realized that we weren’t just friends any more, but we certainly weren’t a couple either. And that transition period lasted, I would have to say, until Isaac and Zac came here and we had that whole weekend together. It was absolutely wonderful. Taylor and I had never in our entire lives had the chance to spend so much time together. We have a lot of fun together, surprisingly. And it was during that weekend that I finally realized that while he had been annoying me so much over the years, it was all because I was noticing every little thing he did. I paid attention to Taylor on such a different level than I have with any other person in my entire life from his coffee order to how many times he looks back and forth when he crosses the street.
“I forced myself to stop being a stubborn ass and to admit that there was something between us. Something that we had both obviously been too thick-headed to see. And I admitted to him that night that I had feelings for him and he said that he had feelings for me, too. Ever since then things have been different. He came and picked me up in the middle of the day and took me to lunch and sent me flowers. It has all been wonderful and surprising, but hiding it from Zac and Isaac has been terrible. We tried to tell them about us when they came back from Zac’s birthday, but they were laughing so much about how everyone believed that we were having a romantic weekend and they knew that we were actually miserable being stuck together, that we just couldn’t. So, we’ve still been hiding. We made the decision to tell them tonight, before we came to Tulsa and we aren’t stupid and knew that they weren’t going to be completely receptive to the idea at first. But, they found out today in a really bad way before we got the chance to tell them. The guys wound up getting in a huge fight. Zac wouldn’t even look at me. Nasty things were said. And Taylor decided that we were just going to go ahead and come early so we could tell you guys,” she finally finished, finding that she really needed a sip of her water after her little speech.
“Wow… how did they find out?” Brenna asked.
“Um… I’d rather not say,” Kinsey said.
”Ew…” Brenna trailed off, obviously assuming that someone had walked in on them having sex, “So what are you guys going to do now?”
“I have no idea. Hopefully get Isaac and Zac to see that we’re not just sleeping together and that we didn’t tell them because we didn’t want to say anything when we didn’t even know what the hell was going on between us. They were so angry…”
“Well, I’m sure they’ll come around. And I’m sorry we didn’t believe you. It’s just that, well, we’ve always suspected that there was something between you to. I guess it was just parental hoping?” their mom smiled, reaching across the table to give Kinsey’s hand a squeeze, “Is it all worth it? Does he make you happy?”
“I never thought I’d say this in a million years, but yes. Taylor makes me happy. He can still get under my skin like no one else but-“
“Then that means he really gets you. Not just anyone can have that kind of affect.” Kinsey nodded, swallowing thickly, trying to choke down the words that had been trying to surface for awhile now.
“He does. And I just wish that it wasn’t like this. I wish that we hadn’t spent the last twelve years fighting so everyone could just accept us because I want to be able to be with him. I have absolutely hated hiding. Yeah, at times it was pretty exciting, but when it came right down to it, it was awful and I couldn’t stand keeping something so huge from Zac and Isaac. And I…” Her face scrunched up as she fought back tears and tried to focus her thoughts. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I think that’s why I misconstrued my relationship with him for so long, because our connection is so strong, I don’t think we knew what to do with it. It all sounds so freaking stupid and like a bad WB teen drama or something, but… I love him.” As soon as the words escaped her lips, it felt like an massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she let out a whooshing breath.
“Feel good to finally say it?” her mom asked knowingly. Kinsey nodded and felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes.
“I love Taylor. How messed up is that?” she laughed as she swiped tears from her cheeks, “The guy I thought I hated for years.”
“I’m really sorry that Zac and Isaac aren’t being understanding. But I’m very glad that you two are really together,” her mom said, “Now do you want something a little stronger than that water?” Kinsey laughed.
“Yes, please. And whatever it is, make it a double.”