Kinsey looked sidelong at Taylor as they sat at the dining room table with the rest of their families, minus Zac who was still passed out in the basement, and Tif. The tension in the room was palpable and not even the delicious ham and scalloped potatoes was helping.
“Okay, this is ridiculous,” Brenna sighed after several prolonged moments of awkward silence, “Zac is a big drunk moron and it’s not Kinsey and Taylor’s fault. Yeah, they’re together and it’s weird but they are and we all just need to deal with it. I mean come on, we’re all being weird and it’s Isaac’s birthday and he looks like he’s going to impale himself on his fork.”
“I do not!” Isaac defended.
“Actually…” Tif teased, elbowing him lightly.
“No one is mad at Kinsey and Taylor, Brenna,” Diana explained, “I think we’re all just in shock at Zac’s behavior, that’s all.”
“That’s putting it lightly,” Kinsey grumbled, stabbing a forkful of potatoes and shoving them in her mouth. She felt Taylor reach over to gently squeeze the hand that was resting on her lap and she forced a smile in his direction. Everyone at the table was trying, but was also clearly having a hard time putting the debacle behind them. Walker and Diana were clearly mortified at the obscene and ridiculous behavior of their son. Kinsey knew that her parents, though certainly not prudes, were still reeling from the bluntness of Zac’s statements. And then there were Tif and Isaac who were trying to be okay with the new couple at the table, but having a hard time dealing with being deceived and kept in the dark. Brenna, in typical Brenna fashion, was just sitting there eating and hoping that no one would notice that she had exchanged her water for Pinot Grigio in the kitchen. Everyone knew, but no one cared.
“Well, it’s Isaac’s birthday and it certainly hasn’t been a very happy one so far. So let’s just try to put everything behind us and enjoy ourselves. Sound good?” Walker asked and everyone agreed. Kinsey knew that she wouldn’t be able to get Zac’s words out of her brain for a very long time, but forced a smile on her lips for Isaac’s sake. They pushed their way into normalcy and by the end of the meal, the events of the afternoon seemed a thousand years away. Kinsey let herself relax back into her chair and watched as Isaac opened his presents. A rare vinyl Chuck Berry recording from Tif, a hefty Amazon.com gift card from his parents, and then came Taylor’s gift.
“What the hell is this?” Isaac asked Taylor exasperatedly, “’Potty Putter’? What’s wrong with you?” Taylor just shrugged and took a sip of his wine before looking at Kinsey.
“It’s a great gift,” he told her.
“Oh yeah. Super classy,” she nodded, turning just in time to see that Isaac was opening hers next. He pulled open the box and found the tan leather messenger bag inside.
“This is perfect, Kins! Thank you!” he grinned.
“You’re welcome,” she smiled back, again receiving Taylor’s hand in hers under the table. Once Isaac had opened all of his gifts, he and Tif excused themselves to go take a walk and everyone else settled in the living room in front of the fire with the cookies Jennifer had made. Taylor went down once to check on Zac, mainly to be sure that he hadn’t choked on his vomit and died, or at least that was what he whispered to Kinsey before heading down. He returned shaking his head and resumed his seat.
“What, is he awake?” Kinsey asked.
“Not even close. He’ll be out for hours,” Taylor told her as he settled back in.
“I always knew you two would get together,” Diana said out of the blue, looking over at Taylor and Kinsey.
“And was that when we were screaming at each other or when we were making each other cry?” Kinsey joked.
“You never made me cry,” Taylor scoffed.
“Yes I most certainly did!”
“When?” he asked incredulously.
“I was six and you were seven. I stole your bike and crashed it. And you cried,” she said. He just shook his head.
“It was more that you two spent so much time being mad when you could have just ignored each other,” Jennifer added.
“Exactly. They knew that they affected each other somehow, they just didn’t know what to do with it back then,” Diana finished, ready to launch back in when Tif and Isaac came back in the front door, their cheeks red from the cold but their smiles enormous.
“Have a nice walk?” Walker asked.
“I’ll say,” Tif agreed vigorously.
“Absolutely,” Isaac chimed in.
“Do we want to know?” Taylor asked, prompting Kinsey to elbow him.
“Well, we took a walk down to the park-“ Isaac started.
“Which is where we had our first date,” Tif butted in.
“And I wasn’t planning on doing it quite yet, but it just felt right,” he continued, but Tif stuck her left hand up so that everyone could see the big sparkly diamond ring on her finger.
“Oh my god!” Kinsey gasped, leaping from her chair to grab Tif’s hand in her own before their parents even had time to react, “Holy hell, Ike! It’s gorgeous!”
“Nothing but the best for Tif,” he smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to Tif’s dark brown hair.
“You’re engaged!” Kinsey said to Tif before they both started squealing unintelligibly and hugging each other.
“Oh honey! Congratulations!” Diana gushed, wrapping Isaac in a tight hug that officially started the parental congratulations. Kinsey found herself pushed to the back of the group and watched as Taylor hugged Isaac and Tif before turning to smile at her.
“Think Taylor will ever propose to you?” Brenna asked, effectively ruining the moment.
“How should I know?” Kinsey snipped as Taylor approached them.
“Ike’s always had a perfect sense of timing,” he said to her.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“If they hadn’t come in with that, they wouldn’t have stopped talking about us all night,” he said, sneaking a peek at the now somewhat weepy group before jerking his head in the direction of the door leading to the kitchen, “You want to get out of here?” Kinsey knew that she should stay, but when she looked over and saw that Tif was huddled in the corner on her cell, most likely calling her mom to tell her the wonderful news, Kinsey knew that she wouldn’t be missed for a few minutes.
“Sure,” she smiled.
“Try not to do anything stupid,” Brenna said as they left.
“Try not to be a pain in the ass,” Kinsey retorted. She followed Taylor through the kitchen and to the stairs, trailing right behind him as he led the way to his bedroom. As soon as she was inside, he closed the door softly and pushed her playfully to the bed.
”What are you doing?” she whispered with a light laugh.
“Taking advantage of what will probably be our only minutes alone together all weekend,” he informed her, moving swiftly to pull her jeans from her legs.
“We just got busted for sneaking around and now you want to do it while your parents are just downstairs?” she asked, and as if on cue, the doorbell rang and a burst of excited chatter came up through the floor.
“Sounds to me like Tif’s parents just got here and we have another minute or two before anyone but Brenna notices we’re missing,” he told her as he shoved down his own jeans and boxer briefs to his knees before leaning down to kiss her deeply, “Now will you just be quiet for two seconds so we can have sex?”
“You’ve got one minute. If we get caught I’m going to-“ was all she got out before he silenced her with a kiss.
Almost two full minutes later, a soft but insistent series of knocks sounded on Taylor’s door.
“Guys! Everyone’s getting together in the kitchen for a toast! Get downstairs now!” Brenna commanded and they froze mid-thrust before flying to get redressed. They managed to join everyone in the kitchen before their absence was fully noticed and they spent the rest of the night drinking wine and celebrating Isaac and Tif’s engagement. The next morning, Kinsey found herself awake before the rest of the family and she got herself showered and was going through some of her old things when a light knock sounded on the door.
“Can we talk?” Zac asked softly from the doorway. She sat on her bed, looking through an old yearbook and completely ignored him, finding what Jake Shelbey had written on the inside back cover much more interesting than anything Zac had to say to her. He had obviously finally sobered and while she had known that he would come to her eventually, she was honestly a little surprised that he was choosing to do so then, before they went back and had full privacy from parental ears; ears that had already heard far more than they needed to over the course of the weekend. “Kinsey, come on. I’m trying here.”
“No you’re not. You don’t give a shit about how I feel, you’re just trying to ease your conscious after being the world’s biggest asshole and worst best friend,” she spat, slamming the book shut.
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m not. Yesterday you hurt me in ways I still can’t quite comprehend, so don’t stand there and act like all of a sudden I’m the bad guy for not being ready to talk to you.”
“What is your problem? I tried to come here and have a civilized conversation and you’re talking to me… like you used to talk to him. What? Now that you’re with him you have to transfer all of your bitching over to someone else?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Get out,” she said seriously, “I’m not joking. Get out now.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” Kinsey looked at him sternly before getting up and walking past him out of the room. If he wouldn’t go, she would. But, she heard Zac come after her the second her feet had hit the stairs. “Kinsey!”
“Leave me alone!” she yelled as she stormed out the front door, grabbing her coat on the way out, knowing that he in fact would not be leaving her alone and knowing that the conversation they were going to be having didn’t need to be heard by her parents.
“Just let me talk for two minutes, okay? You don’t have to say anything, just let me talk and then I’ll go,” Zac said, practically pleading with her as they reached the back yard. Kinsey didn’t say anything, but didn’t object, so Zac began.
“I do not understand why you and Taylor slept together in the first place. I do not understand why you kept doing it. I certainly do not understand how the two people who have made me frustrated and angry so many times over the years said that they loved each other last night. It is so unseemly and ridiculous that I honestly can’t even begin to process it.
“When I saw those pictures on Taylor’s computer, my brain didn’t know what to think, but it didn’t reach the right conclusion very quickly because I had absolutely no idea that you two had been sleeping together. From my eyes, everything was the same as it had always been. I’m sure this is something you’re happy to hear since you two were obviously trying to keep it quiet. And yeah, Isaac told me what you two said about how you didn’t want to tell us until you knew what it was and all that, but I still don’t buy it. I think you didn’t tell us, me specifically, because you knew that we would tell you how ridiculous you were being. That there was no way in this reality or any other that you two, of all people, could be together.
“And how am I supposed to comfort you when Taylor makes you cry, because he will and we both know it. It’s my brother and I’ve watched him make you cry a hundred times. How can I sit there and watch you masochistically continue to put yourself in that vulnerable position. The only thing to ease my mind over the years has been that at least you and Taylor weren’t that close, because it was easy for you to distance yourself from him when he was being a jerk to you. But now you’ve thrown yourself right into it.
“How can you want to be with the person who has been so awful to you for all these years? I meant what I said last night and I know that I deserved to be slapped for it, but I meant every syllable. I have looked at you and your history with guys and I have always known how picky you are about getting in relationships. I have known for a very long time that I was going to lose you some day, because most guys wouldn’t want their girlfriend spending so much time with another guy. There has never been anything between us, but most guys aren’t going to believe us.
“You have Tif, Kinsey, and I know that she’s always been there for you for the things you can’t talk to me about, but I just have you. My brothers are my best friends, but it has always been different with you, but like I said, I had resigned to the fact that I was going to lose many of those things I love about our friendship. And the reason I reacted the way I did was because now, I’m losing you, but you’re still going to be around all the time. You and Taylor are going to be around and I’m going to watch you two get closer and spend all of your time together. I can’t handle losing so much of our friendship and having you continually rubbed in my face,” Zac said, finally finished.
“What do you expect me to say to that, Zac? That I’m going to give up what I have with Taylor because of my friendship with you?” Kinsey asked, trying to process everything he had just said as quickly as she could manage.
“Can you honestly tell me that it’s worth it? That he is worth it? Is fucking Taylor really worth ruining our friendship over?”
“One, it is not just about the sex-“ she started, but Zac interrupted her.
“Then what is it? Please fill me in because I’m just dying to know what you have that isn’t sex,” he replied.
“Well, we have fun together. Now that we’re not trying to pick each other apart all the time, we’ve been able to see that. And yes, we’re still adjusting, but-“
“If you have to try all the time not to fight, then what the hell are you doing together? A good relationship of any kind does not require trying,” he spat.
“You’re wrong about that. If it’s worth it, then you try.”
“You keep saying that he’s worth it, but you’re not giving me a good explanation as to what in the hell that means,” Zac told her.
“Fine. You want reasons?” she asked, “Ever since Taylor and I started fighting way back when, I was always looking for a fight, looking for any reason to pick on him, any little thing I could draw attention to that would be worthy of nitpicking. Every time we would get in an argument, no matter how mad I was, there was always another emotion there, one that I always shoved away because its presence freaked me out. I always felt alive. He has always challenged me more than any other person in my life. And yes, we were mean to each other a lot. I can’t take those things back and neither can he. But we’ve grown up, Zac. We’re not the same people we were when we were twelve, or even eighteen. And neither are you. The old Zac, the Zac I was best friends with, would never have been so rigid and he always tried to see the good in things. Now it comes down to a budding relationship between your supposed best friend and your brother and you can’t think of a single good thing to say about it?”
“What do you mean by ‘supposed best friend’?” he asked heatedly, completely ignoring the rest of her comments.
“Oh come on, Zac, stop it! I asked you a question!”
“No! I want to know what you meant by that!”
“It means that we’ve been saying the words for a long time, Zac, but it’s just not there any more. The Zac I was best friends with would never talk to me this way. And we never fought. Not once in a fucking lifetime of friendship! So there are two options here,” she said sternly, trying to fight back tears, “Either you keep lying and you’re in love with me or we’re not best friends any more.”
“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” he blanched.
“No, I’m merely pointing out the fact that your actions have led me to two logical conclusions. If you have feelings for me, this all makes sense. You would naturally feel threatened and upset by the fact that I’m dating Taylor. On the other hand, if you don’t have feelings for me, then you also can’t be my best friend. I know that Tif was hurt by the fact that I didn’t tell her about myself and Taylor, but you know what? She got over it, Zac! Maybe the idea still makes her uneasy, but she doesn’t act like it because she knows that right now Taylor is making me happy. If you were really my best friend too, then you would be trying to understand, trying to be civil. But instead all you can do is get disgustingly drunk and make inexcusable comments to my parents and to me. So which one is it?” she asked, yelling by the end.
“God damn it! For the millionth time, I’m not in love with you!”
“Then I guess we’re not best friends any more!”
“No, I guess we’re not!” he shouted back, both of them falling silent with that comment. His face softened and he reached out for her. “Kinsey…”
“Don’t,” she whispered, stepping back and causing his hand to fall back to his side.
“But, you’ve been my best friend my whole life.”
“We’ve changed, Zac. We’re not kids any more,” she told him, pulling her coat tighter around her body.
“I wish we were,” he replied honestly.
“And I don’t,” she stated before turning to walk inside, leaving him standing there in the cold.