The week passed by as weeks usually do, full of boring classes, endless reading assignments, and of course, library time with Zac. Each day we would become less and less productive and more likely to spend more time making out than studying. If he hadn’t been so damned kissable, I probably would’ve gotten mad at myself for my lack of productivity, instead I just couldn’t stop smiling. We still weren’t anything official, but it felt too good to care. On Friday, after I had pulled myself away from Zac long enough to finish the reading I had failed to do the night before, he was once again kicking my foot gently under the table.
“Zac… seriously. I have to get this done,” I said, unable to hide the smile that crept its way onto my face.
“I know, I know! I just wanted to know if you were planning to go to the Delta Phi party tonight.” Oh here we go. Our first party together… this could get interesting. As he had previously mentioned, he had seen me when I was drunk at parties. I tended to get very into my dancing and very into finding someone to make out with, usually unsuccessfully.
“Yeah, Gwen and I were planning on it. We don’t usually miss them.” He gave me a big smile before returning to his homework.
“Good, I’ll see you there then.”
“I guess you will.” Twenty minutes and a few kisses later, I was off to class thankful that I would be seeing Zac later that night.
* * *At ten, Gwen and I were fighting over the bathroom mirror trying to get ready for the party.
“Gwen. It’s a dirty frat house and you already know you’re getting laid tonight, will you please give me five minutes to finish my makeup?” I begged. She rolled her eyes and took a long swig of her beer.
“Fine, five minutes. But come one, I have to look good for my man!” she smiled. Braeden was a Delta Phi, their Treasurer to be exact. Ever since sophomore year we’d never missed one of their parties and we’d become close to a lot of guys in the frat. I’d become a little too close in that the two guys I’d dated while at Harper had both been Delta Phis. As I finished my mascara I silently hoped that they’d stay far away from me all night. I wanted it to be about me and Zac, not me, Zac, and my emotional relationship baggage.
“Okay slowpoke, my turn,” Gwen said. She’d changed into her outfit for the night, making me look down at my own outfit.
“Gwen,” I whined, “You look hotter than me!” Suddenly, my outfit felt inferior to her low-cut tank top and jean skirt.
“Esme, it’s not a contest. You look cute!” My mouth dropped open.
“I don’t want to look cute! I want to look sexy!”
“Then go put something else on. Show off what you’ve got for a change!” she said with a smile, “I’m sure Zac wouldn’t mind if the twins came out to say hello.”
“I don’t think I have anything that’ll work,” I mumbled, pulling at the bottom of my shirt, trying to pull it down a bit.
“Go get something out of my closet. Just don’t spill all over it, okay?” was all she said before turning on the blow dryer. I knew she was just giving me a hard time, but I couldn’t help but start to feel my self-conscious defenses rising. What if I did spill beer all over myself? I’d done it before. I just really didn’t want to do that in front of Zac. I’d managed to behave myself relatively well in front of him so far and the thought of blowing it was too much to handle. After a quick scan through her closet, I decided on dark green corset top that wound up looking much better on me than I had imagined.
“Damn girl! That looks way better on you than it does on me!” Gwen exclaimed before blasting her hair with hairspray. As she moved it towards me, I instinctively smacked her hands away. “Esme, you need hairspray!”
“No I don’t! My hair looks fine!”
“Yeah, and it will get all messed up in five minutes if you don’t put something on it!” she yelled, squirting the spray in my direction, managing to get it on just the left side of my head. “Oh look at that, now you have to let me do the other side.” I just sat there and drank her beer as she “fixed” my hair.
After we had both finished getting ready, we did a shot of tequila (our tradition) and headed for the party. The Delta Phi house was only two blocks from our house. Braeden was out on the back porch with a few of his brothers when we got there. Once he and Gwen spotted each other, I knew that I was on my own.
I went inside and started to look for Zac. Gwen and I had taken so long to get ready that the party was already in full swing. It took about five minutes to find Zac among the people, but finally I did in the kitchen. He was standing by himself in the corner and he had a look on his face that I hadn’t seen yet. He looked severely pissed off. I was already feeling a little buzzed from the beer I’d chugged and the shot I’d taken, but I still knew well enough to know to approach him gently.
“Hey,” I said, bending down to force my way into his line of sight which was currently burning holes into the linoleum. He sighed dramatically and raised his eyes to meet mine. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and he had clearly drank a lot already.
“Why did you lie to me?” he asked, his arms crossing defensively over his chest. Oh shit.
“Lie to you about what?” I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn’t lied to him about anything. I hadn’t even really omitted anything important.
“Why did you have to tell me that you had such horrible luck dating here at Harper?”
“I have had bad luck, Zac. I didn’t lie to you about that.”
“Then how come when I was talking to some Delta’s about how I was waiting here for you, that they both said they’d slept with you before? And those were just the first two people I happened to talk to. If your luck has been so bad, how do you explain those odds?” It was then that I saw Derek and Jason, the jerks from the past few years, working the keg together and occasionally shooting glances our way. I just put my head in my hands and tried to figure out how to explain this to an already drunk person.
“Zac,” I said gently, forcing him to let me take his hands in mine, “Those stupid bastards just happen to be the only two guys I’ve dated here at Harper. I basically hate them and I was seriously hoping that we could avoid them tonight. I know that you’ll believe me if you want to, but I really hope you will. I would never lie to you about something stupid like that. If I was a big whore, I might not own up to it, but I wouldn’t make myself sound like a saint, either.” He just pulled his hands away from mine and walked out of the kitchen. Before I followed him, I walked wordlessly over to Derek and Jason, grabbed a full cup of beer off of the counter next to them and then headed out the door. I could have told them off; I would have been in the right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It didn’t feel worth it to bring myself down to their level of maturity.
Zac was now sitting on the front porch holding a beer that he’d gotten from some unknown source. Without a word, I sat down next to him. He took a sidelong glance at me before scooting away.
“Zac, what is your problem? What do you care if I’ve slept with those two people in the entire four years I’ve been here?”
He hesitated for a minute, drinking some more of his beer before responding. “It just bothers me, okay?”
“We’ve only been dating, for what, a week? Come on! We haven’t made anything exclusive, we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend yet, so where does this jealousy come from?” I hoped that I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear it from his lips. Gently, he set his cup down between his feet and put his face in his hands.
“Because I want it to be more and I hate having to hear stuff like that from other guys. They said it like they were bragging… I didn’t know how to take it. They made it sound like “Yeah, we nailed Esme. Who hasn’t?” and it just freaked me out…” he said. Finally, he turned his head over to look at me.
“Please don’t ever accuse me of anything again. I will always be honest with you, just please ask me and give me the chance to be honest, okay?” He nodded and leaned over to kiss me. “Are we done being all pissy now? Because I really hope I’m not dating someone who’s always a mad drunk.” I smiled at him and he looked at me and goofily shook his head.
“No ma’am. I’m usually a horny drunk,” he said, kissing my neck. I could feel the warmth of that kiss spread all through my body and I knew that I needed to stop it immediately. I jumped up and grabbed his hands, pulling him to a standing position.
“I think we need to go get me as drunk as you are, Mister.”
“Hey Esme! What kind of drunk are you?” he asked as he followed me into the house. I just gave him a smile over my shoulder and found my way to the bar. Zac sat there and watched me do two more shots with some random friends and I then talked the guy behind the bar into making me a White Russian. Zac’s hands found their way to my waist and he pulled me close to him as he leaned down to whisper in my ear.
“Let’s go downstairs,” he said. I nodded and accepted a kiss from him. Downstairs was where the dancing happened, and that was exactly what we needed.