You Irritate Me // Douchenozzle (Chapter 14)

The next morning at ten past nine, Kinsey stumbled her way down the stairs with a raging headache and glaring hickey on her shoulder that she’d been forced to cover up with a hooded sweatshirt. As soon as her feet hit the main level, she felt herself being grabbed and pulled towards the front door.

“We need doughnuts!” Zac said a little too enthusiastically. Kinsey noted that he had a slightly maniacal look on his face.

“Says who?” she asked, not wanting to even be in the vicinity of food until she got some coffee and Advil in her system. Though she tried to head towards the kitchen, Zac grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, but now he had one of her coats in hand and was shoving it in her arms.

“You’re coming with me,” he replied cheerily, the overly happy look on his face thoroughly creeping her out.

“Zac, what the hell did you take this morning?” He sighed heavily and the fake grin disappeared from his face.

“Will you just stop being stubborn for two seconds and come with me?” he demanded through gritted teeth. Kinsey looked at him in shock before pulling on her coat and the Ugg boots that always sat in the hall closet only to be worn on such an occasion. Zac never talked to her like that and she had just become aware of the fact that she must have ruined his little scheme to get her outside. Only one possibility rang through her mind and it panicked her to the core: He knew.

As he practically ran out to the street, Kinsey busied herself by taking deep breaths and trying not to panic. She practiced what she would say to him if he confronted her about sleeping with Taylor, but the only thing should could come up with was a total and complete denial. There was no way she could stand there and say the truth. When confronted, she knew she’d lie and that realization frightened and angered her.

“What’s going on?” she asked exasperatedly. He looked around, seeing if anyone was nearby before looking at her. In that moment, she knew that she had been wrong. He didn’t look accusatory. He looked guilty.

“I need to tell you something,” he said.

“Okay, so tell me.” He closed his eyes and his face screwed up like he was in pain before the words came spilling out in a slew that was hardly understandable at first.

“I made out with Brenna.” Kinsey just stood there staring at him for several seconds while the words took meaning in her still sleepy and hungover brain, but when they finally took shape her eyes narrowed and she felt her nostrils flare.

“You what?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry!” he said pleadingly, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I mean, I didn’t initiate it. I swear!”

“What the hell happened then?” Kinsey asked, but wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

“Well, about a half hour after we all went upstairs, I heard a knock on my door. I figured it was Isaac so I went and answered it even though I was just wearing my boxers because I was about to get in bed. But it was Brenna. She didn’t even say anything to me, she just kissed me. And I’m sorry Kinsey, but she got, like, insanely hot in the last few months and I was drunk and I had no willpower.” Kinsey wanted to hit him and scream at him for taking advantage of her baby sister who he knew had been obsessed with him since she was little. She wanted to be so incredibly angry with him, but the second the angry words came to her lips she squelched them.

How could she sit there and yell at Zac for making out with Brenna when she had been sleeping with Taylor for weeks now? Even though the circumstances were vastly different, the general premise was the same at the core. Kinsey knew that she had to take a path other than seething anger, so she made sure to think fast and to choose her words carefully.

“What were you thinking, Zac? She’s been crazy about you for forever! How could you take advantage of that?” she asked, trying her hardest to look hurt and not mad.

“I wasn’t and I’m so sorry. I stopped it before it went any further than making out though. She wanted to go further, but I wouldn’t.”

“Well at least you did that,” Kinsey grumbled, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just please say that you don’t hate me,” Zac pleaded, grabbing her hands in his and forcing her to look directly at him.

“I don’t hate you, I just really wish you wouldn’t have done anything with her. You just gave her false hope, Zac.”

“I talked to her about it and we agreed that we would just leave it at last night. I don’t know if she really meant it or not, but I did. I wanted to be the one to tell you because I wanted you to know what really happened. I’m telling you the truth.”

“Of course you are, Zac. I don’t doubt that,” Kinsey told him softly. She sighed and pulled her hands from his, “Let’s go get the doughnuts.” She honestly didn’t know what else to say to him so she just started to lead the way towards Dunkin Donuts. Even though a hundred thoughts were going through her head, one kept coming to the forefront and it terrified her—Brenna had gone upstairs.

They went and got a dozen doughnuts. Kinsey let Zac decide what kinds they should get since she had no plans to eat any of them herself. She loved doughnuts, but her hangover coupled with the fear that Brenna had seen Taylor enter or leave her bedroom just like Tifani had seen Kinsey leave Taylor’s had forced a wave of nausea on her. As hard as it was to act normal, she did because she knew that she had to. Once they were back, she scuttled into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee before retreating back to her room.

Kinsey had finally decided to stop surfing the internet and go take a shower when Brenna barged in.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Brenna said sassily as she shut the door behind her.

“I’m sitting here on the computer, what the hell would you be interrupting?” Kinsey asked, not at all in the mood to deal with her sister, “And you’re a frigging idiot for making out with Zac, by the way.”

“Excuse me? I’ve liked Zac for years and I finally got him to notice me.”

“Brenna, he was drunk and you were practically shoving your boobs in his face all night. He’s a guy with a penis and yes, of course he noticed.”

“I just don’t see how it’s any of your business,” Brenna started. Kinsey opened her mouth to reply but Brenna cut her off, “Especially not when I saw Taylor sneak in here last night.” Kinsey’s heart started pounding in her throat as the words she had been dreading flooded her ears.

“No you didn’t,” she replied immediately, reverting to her usual childish way of dealing with Brenna’s accusations without realizing she had done so.

Yes, I did,” Brenna stated, crossing her arms over her chest, “And don’t lie to me and say that he was coming in here to watch TV or something, because I won’t buy it.”

“You didn’t say anything to Zac about it, did you?” Kinsey asked nervously.

“No, because I knew that if he already knew, I would know, too. How long has he been sneaking in here?” she asked, not waiting for a response before shaking her head at Kinsey, “And you said I was the idiot.”

“What Taylor and I may or may not be doing is none of your business,” Kinsey said, unwilling to fully admit to her sister that she was in fact sleeping with Taylor on a now regular basis.

“And what Zac and I did last night is none of yours,” Brenna responded. Kinsey rolled her eyes.

“That is completely different. You aren’t best friends with Taylor. And you certainly wouldn’t hear me come crying to you if something went wrong. And, most importantly, I don’t have feelings for Taylor.”

“Yeah, sure,” Brenna snorted before leaving. Kinsey stood up, ready to go yank Brenna back in the room to yell at her for that comment, but Brenna stepped back in of her own accord. “And by the way, I plan on making out with Zac again tonight. If you don’t let me and leave us alone about it, I’m telling Zac and Isaac about you and Taylor.” Then, she shut the door and was gone.

An hour later, Kinsey was forced to put on her best fake happy face and went out sightseeing with Brenna and the guys. Brenna had apparently roped them in to coming along during breakfast. They walked down Fifth Avenue, went to FAO Schwartz, got hot dogs from a vendor and ate them in Central Park despite the cold. When they were finished with their final stop of the day, the Met, they hailed a cab and headed back to their condo to get ready for dinner.

“Kinsey!” Brenna shrieked excitedly as she barged into Kinsey’s room for the second time that day.

“What?!” Kinsey mocked in a matching high pitched voice.

“Isaac found a club in Chelsea that I can get into! Isn’t that great?”

“Best news I’ve heard in the last ten seconds,” Kinsey said, grabbing a dress from her closet and hanging it on the back of her desk chair.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Brenna asked, “I only brought one dress and I wore it yesterday.”

“Then borrow one of mine or wear something else you brought. No one’s going to care if you wear jeans,” Kinsey told her. She found it truly unbelievable how all of the irritation she experienced around her sister came flooding back as soon as she was around her for longer than a random dinner at home. But, as much as it was bugging her to have her little sister around, she also found it oddly comforting to be back to bickering with her. When they didn’t see each other and only talked over the phone, their spats were very random and usually very minor. Growing up, they had always had their sisterly arguments and being nice all the time felt wrong.

Zac might care,” Brenna stated as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. She breezed across the room and started to paw through Kinsey’s clothes, looking distastefully at most of them.

“How are the Jackson women?” Isaac smiled as he came in Kinsey’s room.

“Fucking ducky,” Kinsey lied. Her hair still needed to be straightened and she was still in her bathrobe. All she wanted was for them to leave so she put on some clothes and go out to dinner to calm the increasingly loud grumblings of her stomach.

“Well, the cab will be here in a half hour, so you’d better finish getting ready,” he told them.

“You mean this isn’t appropriate for our evening out?” Kinsey asked, gesturing to her robe. Isaac laughed.

I’ll be ready,” Brenna said pointedly before leaving the room with one of Kinsey’s dresses.

“Trouble in sibling paradise?” Isaac asked once Brenna was out of earshot.

“You have no idea,” Kinsey groaned, knowing that Isaac wouldn’t prod her for further explanation.

“I’ll try to keep Zac away from Brenna if that’ll help anything,” Isaac laughed. Kinsey sighed and grabbed her dress.

“Good luck with that,” Kinsey said, grumbling under her breath as she passed him on her way to the bathroom about her speculation that all of the Hanson men were entirely guided by their hormones and nothing else.

She managed to be ready thirty minutes later only having to fight Taylor for the bathroom once and they were all on their way to Blue Fin for a late dinner before heading out to the club Isaac had apparently located. Kinsey knew that Brenna was ecstatic to get to go out to a real NYC club, but she really hated the way Brenna kept eyeing herself and Taylor as if expecting them to give away their secret. If only Brenna was aware of how clueless Zac and Isaac really were, Kinsey thought as they sat down, Kinsey putting herself as far from Taylor as possible in a feeble attempt to put Brenna’s small but obvious shit-eating grin to rest. She tried to just eat her delicious Chilean Bass but between trying to ignore all of the awkwardness at the table that the guys seemed blissfully unaware of and the nervous feeling that refused to leave her gut, she found herself choking down each bite. Eventually, she mostly gave up and forced herself to eat the rice that came with her meal, knowing that she needed at least some carbs in her stomach to soak up all of the liquor she now realized she would need to make it through the evening.

After Isaac had been nice and picked up the check for dinner, they headed out for Hiro Ballroom, the club that Isaac would apparently be able to get Brenna into. Kinsey hoped the whole way over that he would be able to make good on his promise, because if they had another night of drinking in their condo without other people to distract them, she knew that Brenna would almost definitely be able to get Zac to make out with her again. Zac had looked truly apologetic when he had talked to her that morning, but the dress Brenna had chosen from the back of Kinsey’s closet left very little to the imagination and Zac was a young, virile guy. Needless to say, Kinsey wasn’t convinced of his willpower or of his statements to leave it at what had happened the night before.

“What’s wrong with you?” Taylor asked, stepping up next to her and looking down at her with one eyebrow raised high.

“Nothing,” Kinsey said quickly, too quickly obviously because Taylor didn’t look sold on her answer.

“I think you need a drink,” he told her as they passed easily by the bouncer, leaving Isaac and Brenna to deal with him while they headed with Zac towards the bar, “Aren’t you going to tell Zac to stay off your sister?” Taylor looked very pleased with himself as Zac glared back at him.

“It will not happen again!” Zac stated.

“Yeah right,” Taylor drawled, “She wore that slutty dress tonight to lure you right back in.”
“Hey, that’s my dress!” Kinsey defended. Taylor winked quickly at her when Zac’s attention was otherwise occupied by Brenna and Isaac approaching excitedly.

“Yeah, I know,” Taylor said to her just as the bartender came up to take their drink orders, “Why do you have an insanely tight pink dress anyway? It’s not really your style.”

“I wore it to a date party in college and I looked fantastic, by the way,” she spat. Kinsey looked down at her one shouldered denim colored dress, frustrated that she’d been forced to wear it because of that lovely big hickey Taylor had given her. Even though she couldn’t get too irritated with him because she loved the dress, she did not like having her options reduced because of something out of her control and Taylor’s mouth was definitely out of her control.

“I think we’re out with the two most gorgeous girls in New York City tonight,” Isaac said.

“I’m telling Tif you said that,” Kinsey grinned.

“Hey, I said in New York and Tif is clearly not here,” he replied, his voice sounding slightly sad, forcing Kinsey’s mouth to turn down into a frown.

“Do a shot with me? It’ll make the pain go away,” Kinsey said, holding out a shot glass filled with some clear liquid Taylor had ordered. Isaac chuckled and took it, downing it with her before ordering a beer for himself.

“Well, I got in!” Brenna grinned, “They didn’t really say anything, actually. I could probably buy a drink if I wanted to.”

“No need, I took care of it,” Taylor told her, handing her something pink.

“Thanks Taylor!” Brenna gushed, “This place is great.”

“It’s okay,” Taylor offered non-chalantly.

“Taylor Hanson: Night Club Critic,” Zac rolled his eyes.

“More like, Taylor Hanson: Douchenozzle,” Kinsey replied, sipping the martini he’d ordered her. He just flipped her off before they all followed Isaac in search of an open booth.

“So, are we going to dance?” Brenna asked Kinsey excitedly.

“You can do whatever you want,” Kinsey said, “I’m not sure I’ll be joining you, but if you want to dance go right ahead.”

“Oh live a little, Kinsey. Shake what our mama gave us,” she laughed.

“Please don’t talk about Mama Jackson like that,” Zac groaned.

“Jennifer does have a pretty nice ass,” Taylor teased as he lit up a cigarette. Brenna gave him a disgusted look, but Kinsey hauled off and slugged him hard in the arm. He laughed and ducked away from her fist as she tried to hit him again, “That comment was for calling me a douchenozzle. Whatever the fuck that means.”

“Will you two keep drinking? You’re so much nicer to each other when you’re drunk,” Zac asked. Kinsey saw Brenna smile into her drink and Kinsey had to restrain herself from kicking her sister with her pointed toe pump under the table. She instead harnessed that energy into drinking her martini as fast as possible so she could have the excuse of getting up to get another one. Their seating arrangement had her forced into the side of a booth between Zac and Taylor and the feeling of Taylor’s thigh pressed against hers was as annoying as it was arousing. For some reason, she felt compelled to put her hand on the expanse of thigh muscle that lay beneath his expensive jeans. Mustering up all of her willpower, she took a deep breath and swallowed the remaining half of her drink in one long sip. Since Taylor had to get up to let her out anyway, he came with her to get more drinks with the excuse that he could help her carry them back to the table.

“You look great,” Taylor told her as they were waiting for the bartender to fill their large order.

“You’re drunk,” Kinsey retorted.

“I most certainly am not. God, can’t I give you a compliment?”

“You never do, so sorry if I’m not exactly used to it.”

“Jesus Christ, I’ll never do it again!” he huffed, clearly offended.

“Taylor…” Kinsey sighed. Taylor just shook his head and snatched half the drinks from the bar.

“Don’t,” he spat before walking away, leaving her to struggle the remaining drinks back to the table. After only a few minor spills and a slew of swear words, she made her way back to the table to find that Taylor had disappeared somewhere after dropping off the drinks.

“We lost Taylor,” Zac laughed.

“Good,” Kinsey stated before she let her eyes follow the path Zac had indicated with a jerk of his head. She saw Taylor standing next to the dance floor talking to a tall and leggy brunette who looked like she could be a real contender on America’s Next Top Model. Kinsey felt her eyes narrow and a wave of some intense but indeterminable emotion sweep over her as she sat down next to Zac.

“Something wrong?” Brenna asked innocently before sucking a healthy portion of her new drink through a straw. Kinsey didn’t answer and started in on her next drink.

An hour later, Taylor still hadn’t returned and Kinsey was officially drunk and chatting with Isaac. Brenna had talked Zac into dancing with her about twenty minutes earlier and Kinsey now found herself avoiding looking at the dance floor for two reasons. One being Zac and Brenna approaching dangerous groping territory and two being Taylor dancing with the stupid slutty model chick who kept touching his ass as they danced. Kinsey didn’t want to see either of those things, but as she and Isaac kept talking, her eyes kept sneaking off to take little peeks. Those innocent little peeks were making that awful feeling in her gut multiply with each occurrence.

“This is a nice place,” Isaac smiled as he looked around. Kinsey loved Isaac and he was most definitely the perfect older brother her parents hadn’t provided for her, but he was failing miserably to notice Kinsey’s sour mood even though she now had three martini glasses sitting before her and was working her way through her fourth.

If Isaac had asked her what was wrong, she wouldn’t have been able to tell him. She was a little irritated at Zac for continuing to toy with Brenna’s emotions, but Brenna was a big girl and knew at least somewhat what she was getting herself into. And she wasn’t really mad at Isaac for not noticing that she wasn’t in a good mood because she obviously wouldn’t have been able to articulate it anyway. The only reason she could come up with was that she was drunk and therefore horny, but with her booty call otherwise occupied, she’d be spending the night alone. Alone and listening to said booty call humping the stupid slutty model chick in the next room. It was not how she had wanted the night to end, but that conclusion was becoming more and more probable with each passing moment.

Just as she was about to give up and just give in to the knowledge that her night would be ending in this way, she saw something that made her stomach flop and her heart start pounding furiously against her ribs. Taylor was kissing the stupid slutty model chick. Just after she spotted the newly started make out session, unable to take her eyes off of the spectacle, Taylor opened his eyes and sought Kinsey’s across the room, his mouth never ending its assault on the girl’s. The seconds that eye contact took place seemed to last for an eternity and Kinsey didn’t hear Isaac excuse himself to go the bathroom. She also didn’t notice that Zac and Brenna had disappeared from the dance floor. All she knew was that Taylor had intentionally looked at her while making out with another girl. What the hell was up with that?

Kinsey stood and started stomping over towards them without a second thought. She had to know why he had done that and she had to know immediately. Her feet betrayed her a few times and she staggered a bit. If she hadn’t been so focused on her task, she would have been irritated with herself for making such a poor shoe choice on a night she knew she would be getting sloshed.

Once she had reached them, she tapped her finger repeatedly and hard against the girl’s bony shoulder.

“Go away,” the girl said to her, looking at Kinsey in disgust before trying to kiss Taylor again.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Kinsey stated and she felt vindicated as Taylor gently pushed the girl away from him, ignoring her advance.

“What do you want, Kinsey?” he asked.

“To talk to you. Now.”

“Is this your girlfriend?” the girl asked. Taylor sighed and looked apologetically at Kinsey before turning back to the girl.

“It was really nice to meet you, Katie,” he said.

“My name is Bridget!” she spat.

“Sorry,” he said. Kinsey knew that he was being sincere in his brief apology, but the girl didn’t look sold. Kinsey didn’t have time to worry about that, however, because Taylor had agreed to talk to her and she couldn’t wait to find out his answers. She led the way outside and went to launch in, but Taylor took her arm gently in his hand and pulled her towards the side alley where they could talk without the line of people waiting to get in listening to their conversation.

“Okay, spill,” she instructed.

“Um, you interrupted me! Shouldn’t you be explaining yourself?” Even though he sounded annoyed, Kinsey couldn’t help but notice even in her drunken state that Taylor’s facial expression didn’t match the tone of his voice. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was exactly, but she knew that he definitely didn’t look annoyed.

“Why in the hell did you look at me when you were making out with another girl?”

“I didn’t!”

“Taylor! Yes you did! You opened your eyes and you looked right at me. And your eyes lingered!” she accused, “It wasn’t like you accidentally looked over and you shut your eyes right away. You wanted me to look at you kissing her.”

“Why would I want you to look at that?” he inquired.

“I… I don’t know! That’s what I’m asking you!” she stammered, feeling completely unnerved by the look on his face.

“Well, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that you were jealous,” he stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Jealous that you were making out with some whore in a club? Like that’s anything new.”

“No, that’s not new, but this reaction is. And it’s a rather hypocritical one since you were accusing me of acting way less obvious and jealous than this when you hooked up with Tyler.”

“That was different!”

“How?”

“Because I wasn’t trying to rub Tyler in your face.”

“You think that’s what I was doing?” Taylor demanded, “That I was making out with her bug you? We’re not in a relationship, so why would that bother you?”

“I don’t know…” she said, finding that her strong voice was starting to fail her.

“I think you do,” he replied, “I think you know exactly why this is bothering you.”

“And why is that?” she asked, but he just shrugged his shoulders, letting her know that he would not be providing her with an answer to this final and most crucial question. “I can’t do this any more, Taylor.”

“What, fight? I don’t want to fight any more either,” he started.

“No, I mean all of this. I can’t do any of this with you. And I especially can’t sleep with you any more. This is such a clusterfuck I can’t even fit it in my head.” Kinsey saw Taylor get ready to open his mouth to protest so she eagerly cut him off. “Look at us, Taylor! We’re fighting in the alley of a club. I mean, we were never like this. This has gotten crazy!”

“But why has it gotten crazy?” he asked, again inquiring about something he obviously already knew the answer to.

“I don’t know!”

“Yes you do! And when you figure it out, come talk to me,” he said, turning to walk away, “God damn it you are the most stubborn and thick-headed person I have ever met.”

“Ugh!” she yelled out in frustration, “I’m so glad this is over!” He didn’t respond and just continued to walk back towards the front of the bar. Kinsey let out another frustrated groan before collapsing back against the rough brick wall. As she hiccupped a sob that snuck up on her before she could have any hopes of stopping it, she let her head drop back to thud dully on the brick. If she was really as glad for it to be over as she had just said, then why did it feel like part of her had just been ripped out? Kinsey struggled in her tiny purse for the emergency cigarette she always kept tucked in its zippered compartment. That particular cigarette had been in there for over half a year, and she lit it with a match, striking the head against the brick beside her thigh and smoked through her tears.

“God damned stupid douchenozzle,” she sniffed.

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